Please love this naked heart

by Daniel Hooks

Thursday 1st October 2009 8:43 pm

Strip my words down,

every laugh

every frown

every action, thought and desire

I will make them clear before they expire.

Before they pass their sell by date and decay.

I will be a slave.

I will give you my all

I will scrawl poetry to win you over

Every cloud will have a silver lining for you

Every deed you do will have a lucky clover

I hope you will see the heart behind these words

It is naked undressed for you

Don’t see through me

Treat my words with care

You can undress my heart at will

But don’t make me despair

When you know my intentions are good

May we come to understanding

Like I know we should

All I want is love honesty and respect

And that is what I project and give to you without question

Unrequitedly I am yours

And I hope you will be mine

Then in time our love will shine!

Comments

Jeff Dawson

Thu 22nd Oct 2009 20:35

Hi Dan, how ya doin, I'm just catching up and as you will see I have had time to add a poem now the tour has finished!

This is very romantic mate, good luck with the lady in question! Some lovely sentimental heartfelt lines nice one, as Andy said would have ended ..... rather than ! best wishes Jeff

Daniel Hooks

Mon 5th Oct 2009 15:56

I guess Cynthia that i meant don't reject my advances, because I love you and want the best for you does come to mind! In my life I have been rejected alot I probably was a bit too full on however the ladies in question didn't have the guts to tell me they didn't like me in that way.

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Mon 5th Oct 2009 12:08

Daniel, you scare me a little...like 'the man doth protest too much'! What exactly do you mean:'Don't see through me'? As though I were invisible? Or - as though I am basically false? 'Like we should....' Pressure! Pressure! This could portray more the intent of emotional manipulation than real love. I am making an unbiased observation, not a judgment. Steve Regan's comments are completely his, and mine are mine. But I do wonder about the viewpoint of the male versus the female.

Daniel Hooks

Sun 4th Oct 2009 21:19

thankyou janet andy and steve i will definatetly never let my love die!

Steve Regan

Fri 2nd Oct 2009 11:35

Daniel, oooh, to feel like that! Actually I do, but for many years I didn't. It is not sensible to feel that way, actually, but we just cvan't help it, can we?

And it can be a case of unrequieted love, in fact this appears to be so, which is a dangerous but poetically glorious!!

Liked the poem. Personally I would lose the last two lines though and replace them with (just a suggestion)

"And if the world is to continue,
You MUST be mine!"

PS. A great line from TV drama comes to mind ... "Unrequited love is the greatest love of all, because it never changes, it never grows old and it never dies. "

<Deleted User> (5646)

Thu 1st Oct 2009 23:27

This would be a great Valentine poem or just one inside a greetings card i suppose. You know the kind, the ones with no cutey messages inside already. :-)

Nice poem Daniel.
Janet.x

Andy N

Thu 1st Oct 2009 22:32

you soppy bugger! lol but sweet... I dont think you need the ! at the end however..

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

Please love this naked heart

Comments

Please consider supporting us