1.

 

your cello warbles and purrs in the next room

and i know that you are wearing your glasses

they will be slightly tipped, sitting on that soft part of your nose

and you will be lonely, because the music that your fingers sing

hangs heavy in the dying air

 

2.

 

as time took hold of the tumour, your hand made its way up the neck

the notes became a plangent reflection of your mind

the curtains have been pulled for weeks

the television spits acid in the corner

you sometimes unmute it for the news

waiting for the next atrocity

please play harder when you rattle so darling

it takes my breath away

 

3.

 

its desperate sometimes, this life

i get lost often, then realise that is what i wanted all along

and how can i coat you in my seed

how can i fill you with my blood, my guts

when you are rotting away

under the same purple bruise

that haunts the night sky

 

4.

 

sweet skin and bones

you haven’t moved for days

a lifetime without a whisper

i sat on the floor of the bathroom

for three hours

foil crackling beneath my naked legs

my head resting on the cool enamel of the sink

waiting to hear the cello

 

eventually it came

 

5.

 

cheer now! cheer and launch yourself into this black hole

cheer because it is black, spotless and infinite

cheer because you will never make it to the bottom

never touch weary sole upon stardust

cheer, cheer, then find a breath

for all around us is golden

and here, the shadow that you wanted

sits smiling at your feet