Gram It was a lazy repasting from 'facebook' I composed the 3 stanzas on the 'hoof' without pause to a 'friend' with the time it took still evident. 8 minutes from start to internet. I thought she would be impressed. The effects of Dysphasia being an eagerness to please!
Tommy, really liked the content. Again its the presentation that turned me off. Why make it look like three different pieces of work, cut and pasted together. You lost the poignancy by separating the stanzas.
<Deleted User> (5646)
Sat 10th Oct 2009 14:32
Hi Tommy, i really enjoyed this poem of yours.
It shows a more understanding side than your recent posts. I realize we shouldn't make assessments of people through their writings but it does happen so it's nice to see you have multi characteristics. :-)
Janet.x
Another great contribution Tommy. Like this a lot. Win
I adore this. Not sure why, but I do. I don't know enough yet about poetry than to offer a 'personal opinion' based on the feelings that it evoked in me...it hit the spot for me. Very lovely. I think its simplicity is the key.
Lovely.
Jx
I really like this Tommy. Its different from your usual style, and shows a a gentler, more lyrical side of you. Good one.
Cate xx
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Cynthia Buell Thomas
Thu 15th Oct 2009 19:41
Still, hasty or not, it really vibrates. Which means, if you relax your brains a bit, fabulous things that do connect to people come out in vivid verse - somewhat unscrambled.