cool and terrible
exteriors
slip unhandled
through small crowds
evading the
grasping hands of
interested passersby
by claiming no stake
that lies within their
narrowed sights
and softly discouraging
intrusive discourse with
subtle well-placed smiles.
I've come back to this elP as it does illustrate how a title can plant seeds in the mind. Slip has a sort of reptile quality like a lizard, so your title now exalts the poem. It could almost be "slick" like oil too. The character depicted now has a more fluid and slightly obnoxious feel. Great stuff!
Ray
elPintor
Fri 14th Jul 2017 00:11
Good evening, Ray and Suki. I'm not sure now what made me do it, but I changed the title of this one last evening from "slip" to "lag". Considering what I was thinking about and the frame of mind I was in when I wrote it, I realize now that my decision was one that could've been made only by an American in a British forum.
Anyhow, I changed it back and would be interested to find if it changes the way the piece is perceived. But, in my opinion, the two of you couldn't be wrong either way.
Thanks a bunch, fellas..see ya' around.
elP
This reminds me a little of Theresa May when she visited Grenfell..
Who are the lags? The real ones..
Suki
Is this descriptive of an "old lag" ie ex convict I wonder elP? What I read into it is a slippery customer, not to be trusted yet urbane and pleasant - I think we all know the type. They are often to be found on thrones of superior knowledge ready to slip us up. Very interesting poem with a gentle touch .
Ray
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elPintor
Fri 14th Jul 2017 22:12
Well, Ray, I was feeling more slippery like a fish not wanting to be hooked..ah, but I've been called worse...
All jokes aside, the title does set the mood to a degree. And, interpretation is oh-so personal. I suppose that's why it can be so difficult for some of us to formulate meaningful comments. I, therefore, appreciate your braving putting your personal slant on it so openly.
Take care and glad you liked it, Ray,
elP