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THE GARDEN BRIDGE(From Tales of the Unaccepted)

In the year of our Lord two thousand and thirteen Joanna Lumley had a dream

of a bridge too far with shrubs and trees, sweet nectar, birds and bees.

She got her chums on board; an architect of her dreams, high flying illuminati

offered their gentlemanly support in this far flung horticultural sport.

 

Standing out in that austere circle like Marilyn Monroe on  presidential podium

she sang out her challenge for the benefit of all, like a beacon to enthrall. 

Boris was brought on board, chief arbiter of all things London

with Bullingdon bluff money was raised and plenty of promise for government aid. 

 

The directors of the charity all London residents uncompromised by the rigours of market forces.

The bridge was to be constructed on the old boy network

strong against buffeting winds, entrenched in glorious mud and silt

it would definitely be built, a mirage of beautiful dreams,

but while the tide went up and down, the money kept on running short.

 

Two hundred million was soon envisaged, upkeep at three mil a year to keep the trees

to a reasonable height, the skies apparently to be the limit. A system of fines to stop any buskers

loiterers, exploiterers, flyers of balloons and kites and such unwelcome intrusive sights. 

 

The cutting down of planes was proposed, planted to celebrate wartime dead

a building on the south side on free green space on the table instead. 

Commercially unviable, aesthetically strange for which no single person would be liable

with one horticulturist to join the committee , giving green and respectable credibility. 

 

Like the wrath of God voices were heard of common sense, the plan absurd

then finally while backs were turned, Boris's plans were quietly burned.

But never underestimate the bounce back factor; though Sadiq's predictions are dismissive

and bleak, the wheel of time turns the other cheek, be sure that come the day - when Sadiq's gone

the plans will rise again on a tide of bullshit to scour the banks, while the public

as usual is left in the dark;  it's not exactly a walk in the park. 

 

 

🌷(4)

◄ PUBLIC AMENITIES

SHE LOVED THAT CARDIGAN ►

Comments

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raypool

Wed 16th Aug 2017 20:58

I don't normally do provocative material, but I thought this needed a mention!

Thanks Mark I already had this poem written, so timed it to coincide with the official snubbing.

Agreed Col. I do think she is a master of the little finger - a supreme actress of the semi smoulder. Perhaps we all need to use a little more charm in life to get what we want. It just seems as you say there is always some grandiose scheme going on. Funny ole world aint it!

The plot deepens Greg. There was promise of government backing of a substantial amount, so that makes sense, he would have ok'd this. I think we need a second job like George. Thanks for commenting.

Cheers Paul. I do admire her spunkiness - but I havn't seen that programme . She does mean well obviously but come on darling!! Aythangyow.
Thanks for the likes, Stu and Michaela, appreciated.

Ray

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Paul Waring

Tue 15th Aug 2017 17:33

Well put Ray. Watch out for The Lum's (thanks Col) new TV show 'Absolutely Ridiculous'.

Normally have great things to say about the lady but now wonder if she's been on vacation from reality too long ?

Aythangyow.

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Greg Freeman

Tue 15th Aug 2017 13:32

Nice work, Ray. George Osborne was also behind this folly ... and his fury yesterday in the editorial columns of the Evening Standard was a wonder to behold.

<Deleted User> (13762)

Tue 15th Aug 2017 07:58

Absolutely Fabulous Raymondo. I had no idea The Lum was involved in this nonsense which, according to the guardian yesterday, was conceived as a memorial to Diana (ffs!!). And, Lumley’s vision stemmed 'from childhood memories of mountain gardens in Malaysia' (ffs!!). I couldn't believe my eyes and ears when I heard the news last night and the sums of taxpayers' money already squandered.

when our public services are at breaking point we still seem to find money for daft things. I could add to this the millions spent chasing sporting medals but best stop there before my little rant turns into something much grander. Back to the poem. Brilliant. Have a gold medal. Where's Lord Coe for the podium ceremony?

Col.

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M.C. Newberry

Tue 15th Aug 2017 02:42

Topical indeed. Ms Lumley should stick to India and hot air
of a far flung kind!
At £46 million charged to taxpayers they say, some walk in the park.
P.S. More like a walk in the dark!

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