Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

LATE SUMMER WIND

The wind has been playful all day

along the castellations of the coastline

ducking down behind signs

aquaplaning through valleys

puffing deckchairs inside out

 

brushing the pelts of heather and vetch

forcing his attentions

fancying his chances

 

troubling those in age's advances

and like all young souls has worn himself out

hands deep in air pockets

 

creeping sullenly around the fringe of a pastel bay

sees the esplanade in his way

 knows that only the sea can refresh him

 

one last whip round the flowers and shrubs

then drifting down in a dying dance with playful waves

he leaves a hint of mackerel spindrift

dreaming of vortices. 

🌷(6)

◄ NO FRILLS

PIGEON POST ►

Comments

Profile image

raypool

Tue 5th Sep 2017 16:56

Thanks Hannah for adding a fresh face to the comments - this wind stuff all just rushed into my head (for a change).

Ray

<Deleted User> (18118)

Mon 4th Sep 2017 17:49

''puffing deckchairs inside out'
I love the imagery of this poem.

Profile image

raypool

Fri 1st Sep 2017 23:40

Thanks Stu for dropping in and liking this one. It was originally based on an old man falling asleep in the wind, but I thought this treatment would have more impact so ....

Ray

Profile image

Stu Buck

Fri 1st Sep 2017 20:28

quite brilliant ray. and that is all i have to say as it has all been covered

Profile image

raypool

Thu 31st Aug 2017 21:38

Thank you Cynthia , much appreciated. I wasn't sure the personalisation of wind would work, but I thought of the naughty child idea and glad it did the trick!

Cheers David. Glad it worked for you!

Thanks Col. I respect your idea and take your point - maybe Johnny Fartpants was around. Frankly my mackerel line was supposed to evoke the sort of helicopter blade fanning on water - it did feel a bit complex, but I like to take a chance!

Greatly appreciated comment Laura. I respect your opinions as you know so this is nice for me !

Thank you for the likes Steve and David.

Ray

Profile image

Laura Taylor

Thu 31st Aug 2017 12:13

Oh this is wonderful Ray. Cynthia has it right - it sparkles. Love the idea and the execution.

<Deleted User> (13762)

Thu 31st Aug 2017 07:54

was that a bit of wind escaping at the end of the audio Ray? Own up, have you've been on the cabbage soup again? Assuming then that this poem is indeed about flatulence then the line 'puffing deckchairs inside out' is a gem. Not sure about the 'mackerel spindrift' though. Sounds messy.

I'm sorry, I'm in a silly mood this morning. The poem is lovely and though I joked, I did like the deckchair and spindrift lines the best. All the best, Col.

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 30th Aug 2017 20:06

Sparkling - with imagery beautifully rendered, and the imagination that birthed it all.

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message