He stood
and stared
at the socks
in his hand
She lay an arm
accross her face
He made to sit
upon the edge
of the bed
She moved her legs
He turned to
look at her
She sighed at
thoughts of what
lay ahead
He squeezed her foot
She removed
the heavy arm
that had hidden
her gaze of him
He said
We will make it
through this day.
words and foto T carroll
re-edit
<Deleted User> (18980)
Sat 31st Mar 2018 20:40
I like it a lot Tommy...though no angels for me I'm afraid.
<Deleted User> (13762)
Sat 31st Mar 2018 20:10
yes, ditto Cynthia and Martin's comments although I'm happy without punctuation ?
Once again you prove how effective the use of a few well chosen words well crafted can say so much. great stuff Tommy
Simple - and slicing right to the heart. Really, really good.
Isn't it an amazing feeling to have words come together like that? And you know you have 'angels by their fingertips'. You just KNOW.
Maybe a little punctuation? Just asking.
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Hazel ettridge
Sat 31st Mar 2018 20:56
I love the simplicity of facts. It allows me (the reader) to create my own emotional response. For this reason I would take out the explanation - just leave it as "She sighed" and remove "at thoughts of what lay ahead".
Hope it's okay to make suggestions?