Something about that eye
not seeing,
not knowing me there
is like a dream
of soaring free
the gripping of a branch
consensual sex on the wing.
Beside me now on the spade
while clawing at nothing,
it seems unconcerned
while the bright beads of bluebottles
steer her to the earth.
Excellent ?
Appreciated Jon; i'm pleased with it. I think the impact of an experience is a challenge to put into words.
Thanks for all the likes: Jane and Darren.
Ray
Hi Ray, liked this one very much. A little snapshot of reality. Evocative, you can smell the earth and insects. And it has depth. Well done!
Thanks for liking Jon !
Glad you like it Jane, thanks.
<Deleted User> (19836)
Wed 18th Jul 2018 14:31
A poem with profound meaning. Congratulations!
Many thanks Hannah. Glad you liked it.
<Deleted User> (18118)
Thu 12th Jul 2018 20:49
Beautiful poetry Ray.
One to read many times.
Hannah
Thanks so much Graham. Something with this did click in my mind after thinning it down to essentials. Burying a bird recently departed was rather upsetting.
I bathe in your approbation Stu. I feel rewarded.
Thanks Col. I called the poem Dead Blackbird at first, but yes I referred back to the old favourite. The Chet Baker clip was lovely, smoke and all. Appreciated.
Lovely comment Suki. What can I say? you've made my day!
So pleased this ticked your box Laura. I did think that the moment was profound, and reading it many times it does seem to come to life (no pun intended). If i'm pleased , I must have got something right.
Frances, Anya and J.R. much appreciated likes.
Love all round. Ray
Decisions, decisions..
Which Ray poem should win Poem of the Week - Lonely Raconteur or this? I couldn't put a piece of paper between the two; I love them both.
A wonderful extended thought-meditation, this one. Perfect.
Oh, and glad to hear you performed Lonely Raconteur too, and that it received the response it deserves.
Nice one Ray!
Suki
Yep, will add my voice to Stu's. Absolutely wonderful Ray, the best thing I've seen you write to date.
<Deleted User> (13762)
Wed 11th Jul 2018 08:06
ditto Graham and Stu with the addition of subtle and clever - the title a nod to your musical past I wonder? Reminded me of this classic - the cigs and drinks are a nice touch lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PfUZcsKJqo
for me your finest moment
utterly brilliant
Ray, sometimes I read a piece here on WOL and I swear blind it has been lifted from a classic poetry book.
This lovely read is pure poetry, a stunningly simple, breathtaking piece.
Superb, chapeau!
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raypool
Fri 20th Jul 2018 19:47
Thanks JR for liking this one....