Loving you hurts

There are mornings I wake up, wondering if you survived the night

Hoping and praying that you didn't hurt yourself

Knowing that you probably

 

I worry I don't do enough

That I don't tell how much you mean to me enough

Waking up crying because I dreamt you had died

And it felt so real

 

If I could do anything to make stop your pain I would

But I'm powerless to the demons in your head

I try to protect you but I can't

Because you're the strong and powerful one

I want to hurt the ones who hurt you but I know I'm too much of a coward to do anything

 

I try to give you happiness but it'll never outweigh the horror that you've felt

Because when I see you smile and look into those eyes

All I see is tears and pain

I don't want you to ever know how much this hurts me

 

I watch 13 reasons why, tears running down my cheeks

Imagining myself as Clay

Wondering if I would have a tape

Hoping you would have the decency to leave a note

Or to not do it at all

 

I may not be a nurse yet but I believe I've saved a life already

I've lost more sleep than you'll ever know

Don't fret about that, I'd have it no other way

I would never sleep again if it meant you would stay

 

It dawns on me that you've done the same for me

That's such a weird thought to me

That someone care about me as I do you

Because damn, I love you so Goddamn MUCH

 

I go in for a hug, looking at your arms

Always inspecting them for cuts or bruises

I know that you'll do it and all I can do is ask that you be safe

I really don't think I could go on if you weren't…

 

Taquito❤️