She was a beautiful gypsydark lady

with black eyes like mountain pools.

One of those fortunate rare people

in whom all is lovely, nothing amiss

her whole being, movement, even her voice.

 

Sadly, she seemed permanently coupled

to her absolute antithesis

an uncouth, bullish pyknic

arrogant and generally unappealing.

But, and a gigantic but

immensely, unquestionably, indecently rich!

 

He would arrive for weekend après sea

to depart at dawn on the early Monday ferry.

An updated Beauty and the Beast we thought,

so stark a contrast displeasing to us all.

Often, on other days though, a catamaran would glide in

to anchor in the little cove nearby.

An oh so sexy pirate with gold earring

blond Sumo topknot and a body to die for,

downed a Bellini, then disappeared

but we all knew where he had gone!

 

One terrifying Thursday the double hull

was gently rocking for all to see

when- God help us! we heard the Beast's

flash car rumble down the hill road

quite unexpectedly, leaving us aghast,

forseeing certain imminent catastrophe.

 

We waited, quivering and senses alert

like shooting dogs, but scenting only tragedy.

The Minotaur produced a champagne crate

and, unusually amiable, invited us to celebrate!

What? We asked each other anxiously.

He climbed the steps, to disaster, we thought.

In fact his bovine roars of rage

soon echoed round the village.

 

We saw the lovers, with little on

leap from the window, hand in hand,

skip nimbly over the warm pantiles, along the pier

then dive lithely into the saving sea,

blond and dark tresses flowing

in the slipstream of their flight.

A bronze mermaid and a golden dolphin

reaching the haven of the little boat.

 

Luckily the Beast was not amphibious

and remained at the water's edge

shouting, cursing and threatening both.

But, amazingly she had the last word

as dripping wet she yelled at him,

'Anyway the child is his'! and kissed

her buccaneer with a carefree laugh.

 

We felt some pity for such humiliation

as he  roared rapidly up the hill

never to be seen in those parts again.