I walk up from the bus stop at the end of each weekday,

I know I’ll cause a ruckus, every step along the way.

One hundred yards, four houses, four front gardens, four closed gates,

Behind each one a canine sentinel does lie in wait.

To take this path I have to steel my nerves, or ears at least,

And take care not to get a scare from these four furry beasts.

Am I always to be hounded as I walk up my own street?

A canine chain reaction ends all hope of being discreet.

 

Dog number one, though rather small, can make one helluva din,

He seems to come from nowhere, makes you jump out of your skin

His house borders the main road, and I fear him most by far,

As once he scared my son into the path of a moving car.

 

Dog number two, ‘tween me and you, is one great crazy mutt,

 When he sees me coming, he near flies out of his hut

And careers along the garden fence like something quite insane,

His racket never ceasing as I pass along the lane.

 

Dog number three, quite luckily, is rarely at his post

His owner’s house is lacking a front yard of which to boast

So he’s usually found running around the garden at the back

Scaring all the passersby on the local cycle track.

 

Dog number four’s the worst of all, as this dog’s tasted blood

His reputation’s done the tour of the whole neighbourhood.

Some refuse to pass on foot, he inspires so much fear

The postie leaves the mail with us, rather than go near

But nowadays he’s always chained, since the police were called

As local dog walkers complained of their pets getting mauled

He rarely barks at all now, but simply howls and moans

When he’s chained up for hours or even days, all on his own

His whining is heart-breaking, it’s enough to make one weep

And it really gets annoying when at night I’m trying to sleep

It seems so anti-social, I can get quite enraged

(Especially as our window panes are only single-glazed).

 

With all these canine neighbours, it’s as much as I can take

It’s seems that one man’s best friend is another man’s headache.

But I don’t dare complain, cause I’m sure that if I did,

They’d straight away have things to say about my noisy kids.