There is no poetry in music, not this way:
a room pulsating with dance,
the detritus of meals discarded,
some celebration of sales figures achieved,
the mutual masturbation of praise
for the highlight of successful days.
There is no poetry in noise,
a hell machine driven to death
on the sweat of drunken breath.
No, no poetry for me;
although I play the songs
no young girls cry.
As usual Hannah, your remarks show complete empathy with what i'm trying to achieve. Very satisfying to get responses which underpin one's efforts. You know now how I suffered creatively from my work. it did have an upside too, socially. We all do what we have to.
Thanks so much Ray
<Deleted User> (18118)
Wed 10th Oct 2018 18:17
'There is no poetry in noise'
That line stands out for me.
The scene seen from the stage.
A different view.
Great stuff.
Hannah
Hi Graham. It was a pleasure to use that line! I heard once that it was used to describe ballroom dancing. God how right you are, I wasn't always beyond reproach. Some of those gigs, dire places. It really needs a guide - Southwark Working Man's Club, Ford's Dagenham, and on the plus side Buckingham Palace and Gleneagles.
Thanks Big Sal for bringing that up. I don't decide to write to a known format really, but feel it coming on, Though this one is like a question and answer, or an interrogation in the mind. A closed loop. I think whatever we write should be framed for impact; however you think it out. Some are brilliant at structured work, and it takes discipline.
Rachel, there you go with the truth. En masse drinkers can really put the boot in of course, lurching up to the bandstand and making fools of themselves. There is humour in it though, and I have many stories....
Ray
elPintor
Tue 9th Oct 2018 03:04
It's somewhat of a tangent, but don't we all drink to re-introduce the blathering crying teenager to the public...
..never could one of these make your job any easier.
--a passing thought on a familiar subject,
Rachel x
Big Sal
Tue 9th Oct 2018 02:53
Reminds me of the Elks Lodge for my brother's wedding. Looong night that one.
I like the 2 stanza format you are keen on using (from what I've seen on this and a couple others), you have a way of structuring them that always makes them equally powerful, a sort of ebbing and flowing of ideas back and forth between them.
What's your favorite type of poem to write Ray?
.............the mutual masturbation of praise............
Great line Ray,
I bet you made a few cry Ray! A lovely cameo of every Co-op Hall around the country.
I hope this poem comes into context from the fact I played in a function band for more years than I care to remember!
Cheers all.
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raypool
Wed 10th Oct 2018 22:56
Thanks David, just a sideswipe at the end! thanks. Perhaps I should have had a facelift.
Ray