Preamble: I wrote this shortly after my wedding 2 years ago, but never found the chance to perform it. I've revived it for today's Rhymers' theme of "weddings". It is a slam so it looks strange on paper, so I also made this video.

I have so many thanks to give for this special day!

First, the weather: my eternal gratitude to whichever Supreme Being or natural phenomenon laid on brilliant sunshine,

So hot that the guests needed sunhats and sunscreen,

And thanks also to the rain for staying away until late evening

When it didn’t matter any more.

 

Thanks to my body, for not choosing to bleed that day,

For not falling ill or hurting too much,

And for staying sufficiently stable in size and weight to fit into an outfit bought months before.

 

Thanks to my hair and make-up for staying put where they were put

And to my dress, for suiting me so well

Making me feel like a princess

And if that happens just once in my life, the day I become someone’s wife

Well, what the hell.

 

Thanks to my feet for allowing me to abuse them with three successive pairs of painful shoes

And then supporting my barefoot excesses on the dancefloor until three or four in the morning.

 

Thank you to my husband, for the obvious I know, it doesn’t need to be said

It takes two to tango, and to get wed

But also for not noticing I’d bought four pairs of earrings for the event because I couldn’t decide,

Or that when I got my nails done, I was also talked into forking out for a special pre-wedding facial – in my efforts to be the perfect bride.

 

Thank you to my children, for being there –

For forgiving their parents for doing things in the wrong order

Thus lumbering them with an awkward double-barrelled surname.

I thank them for bringing no tummy bugs or flu bugs to the day:

Thank you to my son for not peeing his pants,

And to my 2-year-old daughter for muscling in on our first slow dance

To remind Daddy who really is the most important woman for him, in every way.

 

Thank you to the people.

To our family and friends for existing to be invited

To those who helped, to all those who came

Who took time out from their busy lives to be there, to show they care

Who put aside their own routines, worries, cares

To smile for us, to wish us well and share the love.

 

And so now it’s done, what’s new?

All along I kept thinking of the line from the Joni Mitchell song

“We don’t need no bit o’ paper from the city hall, keeping us tied and true...”

We already had the kids, the house, the mortgage, the debts -

We were pretty much as tied as we could get

So now we’ve said ‘I do’, it doesn’t change a thing

I’ve gained another ring, to worry about losing, or growing out of, but that’s all.

 

So thank you to the norms of our society

For giving us a excuse to throw a great big party!

Thanks to tradition and convention, for letting us bring together our family and friends

And make ourselves the centre of attention, for just one weekend.

Not because we had to, but because it could be done.

A celebration of our love, and a chance to have lots of fun.