Don Matthews

Disrespect Can Lead To Domestic Violence. Stop It Where It Starts

Friday 2nd November 2018 6:51 am

Disrespect Can Lead To Domestic Violence. Stop It Where It Starts

Preamble

In Australia one woman is murdered each week at the hands of their spouse or ex spouse. The root cause is disrespect. I have included two videos to make my point.

When we excuse disrespect

OK it, and sit on the fence

There's a danger we'll set up a path

A path which could lead down to violence

So be a role model for your child

Show respect, leading them the same way

Then respect will follow them through their lifetime

And violence will be kept well away

Don Matthews November 2018

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Comments

M.C. Newberry

Sat 3rd Nov 2018 15:36

Some explanation is due to Taylor about my comment that
"it takes two to tango". This was intended in the
context of the title and apparent intent of the poem, not in the sort of tragic medical condition she describes. But
the policeman's advice was in her own best interest - and
was taken, no doubt with all the emotional trauma it must
have involved. I can tell you from my own experience in years of dealing with cases of marital fall-out/assault etc.-
long discussions and well-meant advice were invariably
greeted with non-compliance by the recipient (women in
all cases I refer to) - as if they WANTED to believe they
could redeem their assailant and change his ways. It is
this that modern society tends to ignore when endlessly
entertaining accusations of "neglect" by the forces of law
and order in such cases in the past. The reality was(uncomfortable to admit?) very different.

Taylor Crowshaw

Fri 2nd Nov 2018 22:31

Two months into my marriage my husband through no fault of his own had a crash. He almost died and was left with serious head injuries. He became increasingly violent as Drs warned me he would due to the area of damage. It does not always take two to tango, he would fly into a rage for no reason. Anyway long story short after two years of hell a policeman said to me and I quote, "If he kills you it will be your fault, due to his injury he cannot help these outbursts. You can leave him and should." I left that day
he has been on his own for the last 36yrs although we have a son. He does not remember any of it.
I have had a happy marriage and count myself very lucky.
My advice to anyone in a violent relationship..get out while you can. It is not easy he still attacked me after we separated, until my present husband confronted him.

Don Matthews

Fri 2nd Nov 2018 11:57

Brian

Have just seen a 2018 report which might shed some light on this.

Men commit 80% of murders between couples with a history of domestic violence. The overwhelming majority had a history of abusing women.

In 20% committed by women more than 2/3rds were women killing men who had been abusing them. Of 152 murders examined in the report only 2 were cases by women with a history of abusing.

M.C. Newberry

Fri 2nd Nov 2018 11:23

Those using violence deserve to have their collars felt - inside or outside marriage. The lack of control is like a
child angry at not getting its own way and lashing out.
That said, it takes two to tango, so to speak, and guilt is
not always a one-sided thing. But the example set to one's
offspring is of paramount importance and all parents have
the responsibility to avoid behaviour that causes grief and
insecurity to their children.

<Deleted User> (18980)

Fri 2nd Nov 2018 10:02

Don - in the interest of balance do you have similar statistics about husbands killed by wives or girlfriends?