In His Arms

In His arms I find

Safety  
Comfort  
Escape  
Desire  

The familiarity of

His touch  
His scent  
His heartbeat  
His mind  

My passion builds as I feel

The softness of His skin  
The gentle ripple of His muscles  
The heat of His body  
His quickening breath  

My heart opens and fills with love at

His tight embrace  
His lips on my skin  
His words, softly whispered  
Or His peaceful silence  

A smile lights my soul when I see

How He cares about His friends  
That He is loath to hurt anyone  
How He loves His dogs  
His uniquely twisted sense of humor  

A knife pierces my heart when I see

His eyes flash in anger  
His eyes glisten with sadness  
His soul contort with pain  
His happiness at war with his honor  

My mind fills with questions, doubts, fears, as

His mood shifts abruptly  
He reminisces on unknown passions  
His mind goes elsewhere  
His passion seems forced  

My arms ache to hold and comfort, my lips to kiss, my heart to love, my mind to help and understand, my self to surrender, when

He speaks of what matters, and what doesn’t  
He puts pen to paper and bleeds pain  
His emotional masochism rears its ugly head  
    He seems to be hopelessly giving up  

My soul aches, my eyes tear, at the thought of

Leaving Him – every time  
Not seeing Him – this time  
Hurting Him – all the time  
Losing him – anytime  

The guilt and doubt wage war with my heart when I see how much

I love Him  
I crave Him  
I need Him  
I fear Him  

I quake with fear and trepidation when I question

Is this right?  
Is this smart?  
Is this sane?  
Will it hurt when it ends?  

I already know the answers, but there is nothing I can do about it since

I love Him  
I crave Him  
I need Him  
I am His  

And so,

    I will continue to love Him  
I will treasure our time together  
I will rejoice whenever possible  
I will wear His collar  

And I will hold my breath, waiting for the fantasy to crash and burn when reality gets in the way.
~~~