This month I will keep my temper

and eat healthily

and exercise three times a week

and be tidier.

I will keep right

 

Today I pigged out on junk

to cheer myself up after arguing with that moron,

I mean the missus,

who said I was fat, lazy and untidy,

trouble is she was right, I have not kept right.

 

Recalculating

 

This week I will help at the charity

and write a letter to my MP.

I will call up lonely friends

and be kind to my family.

I will keep right

 

The charity has banned me for being rude

to those nutters they call 'service users'

I can't be bothered to write or call, it's knocked me

but at least the family's still talking to me, just.

What is this right I've got to keep to?

 

Recalculating

 

This evening, I will go to the party

I will behave myself

and be friendly and sober

and have a nice time

I will keep right

 

I am at the party

and I am not behaving myself.

I think I insulted that woman

and I am definitely pissed.

I have not kept right.

 

Recalculating

 

Today, this very hour, I will have a walk

I will centre myself and attend to Nature

I will find peace and silence, and perhaps grace

I will come back a new person

I really will keep right

 

I will recalculate

 

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As back ground - I’ve become fascinated by the way my new Garmin Satnav says “Recalculating” whenever I go “wrong”, apparently without getting upset. The Garmin lady also says “Keep Right” when what she means is “Turn Right”. Sorry if you knew that already