(How many "takes" at recording did I need for this?)

 

Ken Dodd had two dogs, you know,

“But just one’s left” he sighed;

A puppy and its father,

But Ken Dodd’s dog’s dad’s died.

 

It’s making Ken unhappy

His dog and Ken both cried

So now there’s just the man and dog

Cos Ken Dodd’s dog’s dad’s died.

 

But time’s the greatest healer

So when their tears had dried

Ken thought, “The dog needs company;

It needs to get a bride”.

 

So thus the two were married

Ken Dodd’s dog and bride

It helped to heal the puppy’s wounds

When Ken Dodd’s dog’s dad died.

 

But tragedy struck twice, I’m told

As Dodd’s dog’s bride’s soul skied

She went the way of Dodd’s dog’s dad

As Doddy’s dog’s bride died.

 

He tried to keep it from the dog

Her body he would hide

Dodd’s dog though sensed the truth of it

That Doddy’s dog’s bride’s died.

 

Thus Dodd’s dog’s bride and dad both died

Their souls to Heaven sped

To join Ken Dodd’s dad’s dog up there

As Ken Dodd’s dad’s dog’s dead.