The Last Words My Granny Said To Me

 

It’s with regret that I think about Granny

And the kind words that were left unsaid

And the ways that I wished, that I’d made my last peace

But I’ve missed my last chance now she’s dead

If I could re-run our last conversation

I’m sure that I wun’t have provoked

I wish I’d have seen her, just one more last time

Before she keeled over, and croaked

If procrastination’s the thief of time

I wish that I hadn’t procrasted

Cos the last words my Granny said to me, were

       “Drop dead you little bastard”

 

My silver-haired old Granny

That wizened-up old prune

Why did the Angels snatch her

And steal her away too soon

Now bridges can’t be mended

And wrongs cannot be righted

And whatever was between us

Is permanently blighted   

I wished that I’d have called a truce

Though I know it would never have lasted

Cos the last words my Granny said to me, were

       “Drop dead you little bastard”

 

If she’d have known she was due to pop her clogs

Would it still be the same……  I wonder

Before the reaper swung his scythe

And hacked us both asunder

She’d have probably planned her own funeral wake

As her health began to flounder

Giving out final instructions   

With her kith and kin around her

She’d ‘a’ said “Don’t mourn me when I’m gone”

“Celebrate my life, and get plastered”

But instead the last words she said to me, were

       “Drop dead you little bastard”