bath time
The soap slides from my fingers
like a slippery mango stone.
Gleaming blue,
your eyes sparkle,
bright-cut,
engine-turned.
And I splash you.
Your toes dig into my hips
as I lean forward
to kiss your lips.
The soap slides from my fingers
like a slippery mango stone.
Gleaming blue,
your eyes sparkle,
bright-cut,
engine-turned.
And I splash you.
Your toes dig into my hips
as I lean forward
to kiss your lips.
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John Aikman
Fri 5th Feb 2010 19:01
Very lovely...I always enjoy poems where each verse is almost a haiku and would stand alone, as well as together. This almost does that for me. Not sure about the tautology in the first verse 'slipping like a slippery...' seems a bit...err.... solipslippery? It reads fine (to me) without the 'slippery'.
Which all seems a little bit pernikkety, now I think about it, so I'll shut up.
Very lovely!
:)
jx