bath time

entry picture

The soap slides from my fingers

like a slippery mango stone.

 

Gleaming blue,

your eyes sparkle,

bright-cut,

engine-turned.

 

And I splash you.

 

Your toes dig into my hips

as I lean forward

to kiss your lips.

 

 

◄ JESSIE

Wolf Rock ►

Comments

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John Aikman

Fri 5th Feb 2010 19:01

Very lovely...I always enjoy poems where each verse is almost a haiku and would stand alone, as well as together. This almost does that for me. Not sure about the tautology in the first verse 'slipping like a slippery...' seems a bit...err.... solipslippery? It reads fine (to me) without the 'slippery'.

Which all seems a little bit pernikkety, now I think about it, so I'll shut up.

Very lovely!

:)

jx

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Rachel McGladdery

Thu 4th Feb 2010 21:10

Ahh lovely!
Rach
xxx

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