All His Geese Are Swans

 

All his geese are swans

I said all his geese are swans

If I’ve been to Tenerife

He’s been to Eleven…erife

So don’t even mention La Mans

Cos all his geese are swans

 

If I give it large

He’ll give it one bigger

Said his wife was a film-star

She looks like one…. Trigger

She wears Tiffany Earrings

And yellow zircons

But won’t bother with paste  

Cos her geese are all swans

And she’s no time to waste

Cos her geese are all swans

 

I’ll have a faggot for tea

If I’m down on my luck

But when he eats the same

It’s a savoury duck

He buys Betty’s Fat Rascals

Instead of plain scones

Just to feed to the birds

Cos his geese are all swans

And he’s not short of words

Cos his geese are all swans

 

A voice like a bell

With a solid gold clacker

Raconteurial genius

Or just a wisecracker

If I had a black dog

He’d have one…. But blacker

A podium finish

He won’t settle for bronze

He’s going for gold

Cos his geese are all swans

Tall stories are told

And his geese are all swans

 

 

I’ve got a super-duper thingamabob

I bought it from Robson and Robson

It slices and dices, then takes out the trash

He’s got one too… But with knobs on

Whatever I’ve got

He’s got one… but better

He’ll get to the top

He’s a real go-getter

He’s reached the high ranks

Of the top echelons

He won’t bother with riff-raff

His geese are all swans

Just listen to his laugh

His geese are all swans

 

 

When I had an ‘eadache

He had one too

But his was a migraine

His cold was a flu

When I felt I was dying

It was all in my head

But he did one better

It has to be said

His geese were all swans

He was on his deathbed

His geese were all swans

Now the poor bugger’s dead