(A re-post.  I wrote this a couple of years ago when the Church of England announced that it would allow gay clergy to become bishops but with the perverse stipulation that they were not allowed to have sex).

 

Thankyou for the gays

Who nowadays

Lead “Songs of Praise”

On Sundays;

The pink and purple gays

Can take their picks

Of bishoprics

From Leith to Lundy.

 

The Pontifex

Says he objects

 It’s “No” to sex

So give that wish up;

A man of cloth

Can plight his troth

But must jack off

If he’s a bishop.

 

Gays, who for years we would besmirch

Gays, now are vicars in the Church;

Live normal lives,

Enjoy a pie, a cig, a pint or even piss-up;

Have blokes for wives

But must abstain from shagging Wayne

Now he’s a bishop.

 

I wish that bishops could tomorrow

Be free as me to spit or swallow openly

 

Thankyou for the gays

Who nowadays

Lead “Songs of Praise”

On Sundays;

The pink and purple gays

Can take their picks

Of bishoprics

From Leith to Lundy.

 

But if you’re queer

Well never fear

For help is near

For Nige and Quentin;

Just keep well hid

What they forbid;

Deny you did

Just like Bill Clinton.