Although a biopsy had determined that I was clear of prostate cancer, the symptoms remained; weak bladder, “urgency”, weak flow and frequent trips to the loo, especially through the night.  In layman’s terms I need to go quick, often and only dribble.  (I knew you’d be interested).

There are treatments for this including prostate surgery but the doc suggested drugs to start with.

Now, I was a bit reluctant because I’ve never taken any drugs other than the odd paracetamol but what persuaded me was that they were going to be free.  As an old git I’d been eligible for free prescriptions for nearly six years but I’d never enjoyed sufficiently poor health to take advantage.  So “Bring it on!” I thought.

Anyroadup, I was prescribed Contiflo XL which is a proprietary brand name of the drug Tamsulosin Hydrochloride.  What were interesting though were its possible side effects.  Besides the normal stuff you’d skip through like dizziness, feeling faint, blurred vision, rash, skin discolouration, dry mouth and more of the usual culprits what really caught my eye were a couple of crackers.

Apparently, in some cases it can cause retrograde ejaculation.  This means you ejaculate into your bladder.  It seems the tadpoles get confused, take a wrong turn or reverse down the plumbing.  It is not harmful but a bit perplexing (like being 12 again).  The sperm is discharged next time you have a pee.  But it gives a whole new dimension to the cowboy’s saying “I come from the back of beyond”.

The second side effect which caught my eye (and even rarer) is the phenomenon of priapism.

Named after the Greek god of fertility with the enormous boner, Priapus, this is a condition, desirable on first hearing, of an erection which just won’t go down; what might be called “the love that never dies”.  In fact, rather than being pleasurable it is extremely painful and requires medical treatment.  Rarer still, it seems it can occur in women when the clitoris swells painfully.

Now it seems to me that there is an opportunity here along the lines of AA or Gamblers Anonymous for a mixed self-help group.

Before belting it with a dessert spoon I’d certainly give it a go.