(A re-post of one of my greatest hits)

 

Mi firstest poems wa’ yonks ago;

 

I’ve lost ’em (God be thankst!);

 

Full o’ trite naivety

 

An’ post-pubescent angst.

 

 

 

 

 

Some of them’s political

 

(I put the world to rights)

 

I solved starvation on mi own -

 

Right On! An’ Outta Sight!

 

 

 

 

 

I took to wearin’ neckerchiefs

 

As Byron could ‘ave once;

 

It din’t impress mi granddad -

 

It made me look a ponce.

 

 

 

 

 

I pined wi’ unrequited love

 

(I’d never ‘ad a shag!).

 

Mi ‘eart ‘ung ‘eavy wi’ chagrin -

 

Mi balls like saddlebags.

 

 

 

 

 

Owd up! I’ve found mi book o’ verse!

 

Still filled wi’ arrant pap.

 

On balance though I ‘ave to say

 

They beat this loada crap!