This weeks Poem of the Week is 'Scared of Spiders' by KJ Walker a beautifully rhythmic reminder that although he can 'cracks walnuts with his eyelids' and has 'got muscles in places I ain’t got places' there is still something small and innocuous that can make his blood curdle.

Those little eight legged friends of ours are able to elicit screams like no other creature and KJ's poem is an ode to both the terror we feel and the faint ridiculousness of it all. 

After all, they are only tiny...

 

Below KJ answers our Q&A

 

What got you into writing poetry?

I've never considered myself to be a writer. I left school with little education, and no qualifications. When my children were growing up, I was always telling them stories of my own childhood. My kids treated these stories like fantasies, as they were so different from their own experiences. My oldest son encouraged me to write these stories down, and so I began my first novel. It was an ambitious project, doomed to failure, but iI did manage to write 28 of an intended 36 chapters.

During a break from my novel ( a long break because I abandoned it) I had a bash at writing a poem, and was hooked.

 

How long have you been writing?

I can tell you the exact date that I wrote my first poem, because I published it immediatly to the site I used to publish chapters of my unfinished novel. It was  December the 4th 2016 (I bet not many have given that accurate an answer)

 

Do you go to any open-mic nights?

I attend an open-mic in Doncaster. Well Spoken, at the Doncaster Brewery & Tap. We meet on the second Thursday of each month. I've been going since Feb 2017, which in retrospect was quite brave as I'd only been writing poems fo a couple of months at that time. It's a brilliant night, and everyone is very encouraging. If anyone nearby is thinking of giving it a go, this is a good place to cut your teeth.

 

What’s your favourite poet/poem?

Whenever I'm asked about my favourite poet I give a different answer. People compare me to Marriott Edgar, because I tend to write long monologues. But as a kid I listened to a lot of Mike Harding. I think that his stand out poem was Grandad Ackroyd's Funeral. 

 

You're cast away on a desert island. What's your luxury?

The last time I was asked about my luxury item I said a bottle of whisky, then I regretted saying that because it sounded flippant. but if I'm being honest, I'd have to stick with my original answer.

 

 

Scared of Spiders

by KJ Walker

 

He cracks walnuts with his eyelids

Bends girders with his ears

He’s the man who can fight twenty men

After drinking twenty beers

He eats racehorses whole

Plus their saddles, and their riders

He ain’t afeared of any man

But still he’s scared of spiders

 

 

He’s got a tattoo of a dragon

To show how tough he is

He’s got muscles in places I ain’t got places

He’s got muscles in his piss

He’s feared by his inner circle

He brings dread and alarm to outsiders

He ain’t afeared of any man

But still he’s scared of spiders

 

Ghosts and spectres can’t get to him

He’s no fear of the unknown

Bring on a hoard of zombies

He’ll take ‘em on his own

King Kong and Godzilla

Would fall foul to his martial-arts skills

But show him a little spider

And he’ll go running for the hills