Hey Billy Big Balls,

spreading on the seat,

just how much space does one man need?

Did you buy two tickets,

one for each knee?

‘Cause they’re taking up the space that my legs need.      

 

Hey Billy Big Balls,

spreading on the train,

such a vast sack must cause great pain.

Have you been to the doctor,

or had them examined?

They shouldn’t be the size of a cantaloupe melon.

 

Hey Billy Big Balls,

spreading on the tube,

tittylip’s out when I ask you to move.

Do they need to be aired? 

Are you about to give birth?

Were you born a selfish cunt or did you have to learn?

 

Hey Billy Big Balls,

spreading on the bus, 

sitting like your genitals are all puffed up.

Are your undies like a hammock

to accommodate your knackers?

It’s a wonder you can even stand up.

 

Hey Billy Big Balls,

spreading everywhere,

when I do it to you back, are your feelings hurt?

Is your ego squashed?

Will it ruin your cock?

How does it feel when I take space up?

 

Hey Billy Big Balls,

arrogant twat,

you get the width of your seat,

no more than that.

Can you shut your knees please?

Can you not sulk

when I politely ask you

“Are you the fucking Hulk?

Are you a Super Hero?

Are your goolies monumental?

Is your scrotum fucking epic?

Or are you just a massive prick?”