Adam Rabinowitz

Thank You

by Adam Rabinowitz

Wednesday 7th August 2019 4:54 pm

Every song has a river

every boat has a name

every being has a purpose

each purpose is the same

When I said I'd die for you

I was really already dead

those tears cried of sadness

were tears of emptiness instead

When you said you'd write to me

the writing was on the wall

I'm not really waiting

silence on a deaf ear falls

When I said I miss you

really I missed me

for who you are and who am I

is still a mystery

When there was no question

followed by no reply

no more words were spoken

no more tears to cry

So thank you for these moments

I thought and thought of you

cause had you actually said goodbye

my heart would break in two

Yes, thank you for your silence

my time in which to grow

and now that all pain is gone

what I thought I knew I know

Every song has a river

every boat has a name

every being has a purpose

each purpose is the same

🌷(6)

heartbreak Rhyme

◄ Consequence - A Sestina

Upon Hearing of an ICE Raid: we want the country back ►

Comments

Adam Rabinowitz

Fri 9th Aug 2019 20:54

Thank you Mae and Do.RoThY for reading. I feel I keep getting wiser but some wisdom is easier than others to acquire.

Mae Foreman

Fri 9th Aug 2019 11:03

I like the circularity of the piece, I am a great fan of repetitions, they are very effective. For me there is no ambiguity here, we have a saying where I come from..."nothing bad empty of good". Free translation ?
Anyway the point in, that every journey through hell, is still a journey. It has a destination and challenges and at the end you're alive and a little bit broken but wiser.
That is the feeling I get from that! Great work Adam ?
Mae

Adam Rabinowitz

Thu 8th Aug 2019 07:56

Don, Jason and Leon
Thank you for reading. It means a lot to me.

Adam Rabinowitz

Thu 8th Aug 2019 07:55

Vautaw,

Really nice compliment. Thank you for reading.

Don Matthews

Thu 8th Aug 2019 04:23

I use the ABCB scheme nearly all the time. It's got a catchy beat to it which resonates. The last line is like a deafening full stop to the verse if you know what I mean....

victoriavautaw@gmail.com

Thu 8th Aug 2019 02:56

Beautiful poem Adam. Thank you for sharing it with us. I know the popular school of thought is for the reader to bring their own interpretations to a poem, but I love reading what the poet intended and what inspired the poem. Getting to peek inside a gifted poet's thoughts, even for a fleeting moment, is fascinating. I love Leonard Cohen's poetry and music. It's cool to see he also inspired you! ?

Adam Rabinowitz

Thu 8th Aug 2019 02:27

Devon,
Though my thoughts contain no more truth than any others interpretation, my feeling/intention was to contrast the bitter but beneficial non-communion of the interior with what I thought of as the essential purpose of all named beings on the river journey of their songs/lives to connect with others.

I had been listening to a lot of Leonard Cohen ...poetry not music...and I wrote to match his I want/need you but can never have you kind of gestalt.

Thanks for the feedback. Read and Write On.
A.

Devon Brock

Wed 7th Aug 2019 21:50

Adam, breaking down the first and last stanzas implies a solitary journey toward nothingness, or so the imagery reads to me. The internal stanzas seem to present the notion of communion denied, and a bitterness toward that denial. To sum up, though we may reach out to others or perhaps even a deity, ultimately we are each alone in our journey down the river. Close? not close?

Enjoyed the poem, enjoy your work, look forward to the next.

D

<Deleted User> (17847)

Wed 7th Aug 2019 11:31

ABCD works for me and in this case Adam, perfectly so. ?

Jason Bayliss

Wed 7th Aug 2019 10:36

I used to write a lot like this, with a sort of circular schematic, where the last line or verse is a direct callback to the first. It's really effective and I still really enjoy it, I just haven't done any for a while. It really pumps the message home.

J. x

Adam Rabinowitz

Wed 7th Aug 2019 06:24

Different than my usual entry but I do this ABCB stuff also. Wondering if the purpose comes across or what the readers thiink the purpose that all beings have is. Thanks for any feedback.
A.

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

Please consider supporting us

Donations from our supporters are essential to keep Write Out Loud going

Bringing poetry to people

Click here to donate now