Staying in
Anxious and tried
Head lowered in shame
I can't face my face
Again and again
Brooding dark doubt
Sapped energy am tired
Confidence is ebbing
No company desired
Comments
Write what you feel Philip. That will always be good enough in my book.
I find not only no fault with the poem but that it exactly expresses a state of mind. What more can you do to please some readers who are averse to accepting good poetry at face value when they see it?
Ray
Thank you for your encouragement of words
I'm pooting down just wot I feel
I pleesing? wot yoo fink?
How am I dooing WOLers?
Or am I down the sink?
Please send helpfull criticisisums. I'm a lerner and need all the help I can gett
Yors
New WOL
Lerning poett ?
Tried and Tired are in many respects 2 sides of the one coin at the best of times. I bet you felt both after the comments BUT please don't tire of writing your feelings, it's the best medicine always... Sometimes there is something about just putting down how it felt, rather than what may be pleasing to others. You invoked reactions, that is the main thing!
Well I tried
I'm tired of being tried
By all you WOLer lot
I think I'll put a comma
Where I should put a dot
And WOLers that will stir your pot
You can't comma a dot
This is a top-notch poet site
What are you thinking, wot? ?
I tried......but a tad tired
How about that tried for tired, tired for tried...init bruv'
<Deleted User> (18980)
Sun 13th Oct 2019 09:34
Like it Phil, but it dies noed charging to 'tired' itherwise it diesn't wirk.
But you know the typo works ...
Think your right/write Don and thanks for reading
I really like this Philip. Short, succint. Nice rhyming. Should 'tried' in 'Sapped energy am tried ' be 'tired' ? Maybe not?....
I like this line 'I can't face my face'...
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Don Matthews
Sat 19th Oct 2019 23:11
Phillip - I have a flippant side but also wear my heart on my sleeve..... keep writing how you feel.....