Most couples come together

for the sensual pleasure

and indulge themselves whenever

there is time and leisure;

others do it just to fertilise eggs.

Once you've got into the habit

you can go at it like rabbits

or experiment and wear the fancy dress.

But how does everybody stop having sex?

 

Can you stick on patches

to extinguish love matches?

Will there still be flashes

and ephemeral snatches?

Can you undergo hypnosis to forget?

Would you use willpower

or take a cold shower?

Chew a substitute known as Knickerette? 

Could we go for counselling to stop having sex?

 

The Japanese will stop it

when company logic

decrees that a profit

overrides the erotic;

in China it is at the state's behest.

In Madrid and Tijuana

the menfolk say manana

when the wives begin to shake their castanets.

Shall we lie back and think of England or stop having sex?

 

One day you're shopping at the chemists

for Hedex and some Rennies,

that cream made of cherries

to hide a facial blemish,

and a bumper-size packet of Durex:

but they haven't got your flavour,

you think shall I come back later

or shall we put the whole damn thing to rest?

You wonder how does everybody stop having sex?

 

Would we cope in splendid style

and advertise our self-denial?

We could have a public trial

and appear on Jeremy Kyle,

the children would be suitably impressed.

We could shout it to the neighbours

and then tout it o the papers,

tell everyone we know of it by text.

We could start a group on Facebook called Stop Having Sex!

 

Would the final days be charted?

Should we set ourselves a target

on a calendar and mark it?

Will we vow not to restart it

despite those tiny shivers of regret?

Would we yield unto temptation

or resort to masturbation

and eventually retire to separate beds?

What if we can't remember to stop having sex?

 

Do you think our sexual histories

will falter in the fifties?

Will you wanna do it with me

as we swing into the sixties?

Shall enthusiasm wane or remain erect?

Through the seventies and after,

with the advent of Viagra

we could shag until we both run out of breath.

That would be a fine way to stop having sex