I wish I could rewind to before 

When things seemed much easier 

Somewhat childlike and innocent 

Tinged with a longing for something more 

 

Your way with words 

Had me falling in love 

While I was busy falling too deep 

You kept me at arms length, too afraid to try 

 

I want you to come home to me 

Nestle in between warm blankets 

With the windows wide open 

Allow yourself to be unburdened from the stressful day 

 

We were never really going to be just friends 

Each time I tried to cut myself from you 

I would pick up the needle and thread, drawn by your silent promises, and sew us together again 

 

I want more days with you 

Arguing over baby names and colour schemes 

and then the nausea creeps in 

I am once again a bystander 

Watching my body reject what it needs 

Like a blood transfusion 

 

I want all that my rose coloured glasses can see 

But that's not us 

It might never be 

It might be us in 5 years 

or 3 months 

 

I call out your name each night 

Using it like a sword and shield to keep the nightmares at bay 

But it does very little to help me

When I am awake