Cathy
so pleased that you liked 'forget me not' - many thanks for your kind and supportive comments
cheers
Ian

Comment is about Cathy Crabb (poet profile)

Original item by Cathy Crabb

How to tell a joke
Advice to be given to a Lady

Know your audience
Know your subject

Write out your joke in full
Read it aloud many times
Remove all diversions
Check for confused references
Ensure you have a command of the required terminology
Try not to get out of your depth
Avoid sporting, scientific or technical references
Limit your choice to sex and fashion
Political issues may only result in your being confused

Practice brevity
Remove 50% of what's left
Remain calm

Practice eye contact
Learn to lower your vocal pitch
Avoid staring continually at the same person
Remember to blink

Do not wear checked shirts, dungarees or men's boots
Do not mumble
Do not rush delivery
Remember to breathe

Practice brevity
Remove 50% of what's left

Ask a chap about posture
Ask a chap for advice
Ask a chap for his approval

Turn off your mobile 'phone
Do Laugh at other peoples's jokes before attempting your own
Get the round in before attempting your joke

Try to relax

Avoid tearing-up beer-mats
Do not under ANY circumstances cough - burp - stammer- pass wind
or giggle hysterically during the performance
Do not fidget


Try not to look nervous

Do not apologize for your effort
Do not sweat
Do not show signs of fear
Do not cry
Do not attempt an encore.

Comment is about Cathy Crabb (poet profile)

Original item by Cathy Crabb

Thanks for your comment on my FB poem Cathy. Yes - speaking to the wall is a strange concept - you ARE speaking to yourself - but at the same time everyone you ever knew - from the person you met in a lift a day or so ago to someone you haven't seen since your first job 20 years ago... Facebook is a crazy crazy place!

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I do have some catching up to do. What an impressive profile.

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Cheers loads Cath(it happens)
piece of advice-re inadvertant walkies
keep away from lovers leap!xx

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Kathy ( Hi :o) )you have now edged out Laura as my favoorite person. I will en-devour to teach, amuse and enlighten you regarding humour.
Call me on my private number anytime except Wednesdays and Saturdays evening as I will be shopping at Tesco's.

Tommy. (Bachelor)

Comment is about Cathy Crabb (poet profile)

Original item by Cathy Crabb

Hello Cathy. Many thanks for your kind comments on And Trio's.
I am embarrassed by the sentiments of some of the commentors who have all assumed that the piece is biographical.
I will of course explain to each, however I have not experienced a tragedy, but have merely been inspired by the potential of one.

Thank you once again for your feedback.

Very best regards,

Graham

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Hi Cathy,
Thanks for the feedback on 'Mackerel In The Bath'-I hope it made a good bedtime story!

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Thanks so much for comments (Dowser)- have just added an audio (but it's a bit "thrummy")

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Hello Cathy,
Many thanks for your comments on "White Rabbit".
I did suspect that the photo I pinned wasn't a rabbit.
When I googled for images of a rabbit I got some things with sticky-out bits which I just couldn't work out where they'd fit. You'll have to excuse my ignorance in the trouser department.
But in the pursuit of literary integrity I'd be happy to be shown.

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Hi Cathy

Thank you for your comments. I like the way you write that my heart had a word with your heart.

Much appreciated!

Ally

x

Comment is about Cathy Crabb (poet profile)

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Hi Cathy, enjoyed reading your sample poems, & grateful for your comments on 'Through Haze'. Much obliged. P

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Thank you Laura! I am writing more poetry at the minute after a long break x

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Absolutely loved the first two of your samples - incredible writing!

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I loved you tonight. I leaked tears of both varieties.
Brilliant.

Comment is about Cathy Crabb (poet profile)

Original item by Cathy Crabb

cathy!

you were AMAZING at Inside Out yesterday. I thought the whole evening was a wonderful mix of excellent performers and it was a joy to perform there. I love how your poems so easily mix very funny lines with sincere and deeply moving raw emotion. Your work is so, so enjoyable, celebratory and clever- absolutely excellent. please keep me up to date with where else your performing as i'm looking forward to seeing you on stage again

:)

d

x

Comment is about Cathy Crabb (poet profile)

Original item by Cathy Crabb

You write well on complex topics...

Comment is about Cathy Crabb (poet profile)

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