ADVENT

Purification
World of all souls mistletoe rose
Christmas tree healing

Joyful emotions
For giving the heart is key
To the wealth of health

Colds can be deadly
If we lack immunity
We are all fragile

Viruses present
Unwanted gifts at Christmas
To all believers

And of none but we
Shall remember those who died
In hospital wards

Last gasp for the world
Can our patient...

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I want to tell you.

 I want to write it down. 

I want to have the right words.

I want to feel them. I want you to feel them. I want you to feel what I felt. 

I want you to know. About everything. I want to show it to you in broad daylight. 

I want you to see it. I want you to face it. I want you to taste it 

when the water turns to bleach. I want it to blister the inside of your ...

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I always hoped I’d get a seat next to them—

After so many hours in that chair, you look for anything to make you smile.

Most days I came prepared with things to occupy my mind.

I carried a book of Kate Bush’s song lyrics, called How to Be Invisible, which had been nearly ruined once when I spilled an entire canteen of water in the bag I packed to take to the hospital.

Bu...

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From here—

I wish I could capture this moment with my eyes:

A rose-golden mist of salt

shimmering in the glow of the setting sun

falling like stardust into the grey-green seams

of water, pulled tightly over by the crest of a broken wave

She could devour me in an instant with 

white-water jaws;

swallow me whole and 

spit me into her dark abyss

But here—

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09.10.21

I'm not a broken vase 
Not pieces put back together with golden glue 
Not some fragile, broken thing
You can't cut yourself on me anymore. 

You kept trying to hold me together 
To put flowers in me and show me off, so proud 
But I'm not a vase, 
Never was 

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27.07.20

I am a shattered vase 
Pieces picked from the floor 
And placed back together.
Sharp broken shards 
Holding on with everything I've got
Just trying to keep the water in 
Pretending I'm in tact 
Not a shattered broken thing 

From afar I'm a vase 
Unlike any other 
Proudly displaying flowers of many kinds 
But get too close and you can see my cracks
Try to touch me and you ...

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When you left, you took a piece of my heart

When you left, my whole world came tumbling down

I became so lost

I was left in the dark

You took with you my light 

When you left, I learned to fight

I learned to navigate this world without you by my side

I learned to be strong to no longer rely on your love

You thought I was weak,

For feeling too much

Now, you're the one ...

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His words could become sharp as corners

And trap you there

Flailing in his grasp

They could pinch your skin

Until you cried

And cried

Throughout your shifts

They could catch your wrists and stop you

From moving on

From moving

They could lock the doors, no leaving

They could shame you and shrink you

They could come flying in from an open window,

A buzzing phon...

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Broken feeling all alone

The dark surrounds you and all is still 

Time stops ticking 

Your heart no longer wants to beat, it no longer wants to live 

You hear a voice whisper 

You hear a voice call your name 

You fall on your knees close your eyes and pray 

You feel his strength 

You hear his voice say , "No more!"

God says , "Rise and grow!"

Have COURAGE to let go......

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i am a lucky girl.

just recently i read that

on average

people take around 24,000 breaths 

everyday 

in between words

and laughs 

and running late to their jobs.

today i watched an old

PJ Harvey concert on tv

she was singing and

screaming and

breathing 

all over the place-

it was great

i bet i took a thousand breaths 

just sitting there watchi...

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They come to me when things are still

And leave me without choice to hear

The things I've heard and know too well

Of tired topics,

To be clear

I, myself and just the ears

Without chance to think, or speak

It seems all I do is overhear

Their endless banter of 

Self critique

Seldom, do I have a moment

For myself

Today, for instance 

Was particularly loud

Who...

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I could not reach you

But how I sought to

How desperately I longed

To belong to you

But the walls between us

The ones you built

Stood far too strong

And far too tall

For me to reach

Oh, but how I tried

How relentlessly I cast my bleeding hands 

Against the jagged rocks and stones 

That kept me from you

Lost,

Alone

But how I tried

And I wait...

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