my Lord ...
grant me a heart that is always awake
which is not infested with false dreams
until I do not turn away from You

my Lord ...
give me grace the heart
which is not diminished by unworthy desires

my Lord ...
grant me a straight and honest heart
who are not persuaded and plunged
by what I consider reasonable but dangerous

my Lord ...
give me a strong heart
which will not ...

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Music fades away when you arrive
Spreading the doom with every stride
The stare of hatred locked in your eyes
Sinister cravings behind sacred lies

You want me to beg
You want me to look
You want me to bend
And follow your rules

Judging from throne made out of gold
Taken from people that you control
Deep in your cave, the smell of decay
Surrounded by slaves, you feist on their brain

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I bent again unto the ground
And I heard the quiet sound
Which the grasses make when they
Come up laughing from the clay
--We are the voice of God!—they said
Thereupon I bent my head
Down again I might see
If they truly spoke to me.
But, around me, everywhere,
Grass and tree and mountain where
Thundering in mighty glee,
--We are the voice of deity!—
And I leapt from where I lay:
I d...

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You don’t know me.
The time is gone
for you and for me,
but with this gun in your hand
you see the future
of your illness mind.
Call me by my name
and kill me after that.
Maybe in your eyes
I can write my happiness
and give you for the rest of your life
a peaceful victory.
We could die together
but who keeps alive
our memories
in this world,
the only world
that can exist?
My mist...

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Tell Me

Tell me, Stranger, tell me do,

What makes the world spin round for you?

What do you love, what makes you cry?

What do you hope, before you die?

Tell me, Father, plant a seed,

What path I follow, where you lead,

Give me compass, strength and plan,

To show me how to be a man.

Hold me Mother, sing me songs,

Give me rites for all my wrongs,

You g...

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PTRD - Post Traumatic Religious Disorder.  Confessions of a confused believer who’s not sure what to believe. Highs, lows, anxiety, depression, suppression, and all that in between. Saved, suicidal, and soaked in the blood. The aftermath of trying to be a round peg in a square world. Do you ever feel like you have been traumatized by the religion that holds your faith? Down, dismayed, and subdued ...

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Everything that I use to sooth my weary mind becomes a stumbling block. Reading, writing, worship, daydreaming, all killed by frustration and agitation. I need something to make the voices cease. I need a little time alone in peace. Lord, I’m left standing alone and wounded. When will my affliction stop? When will my mind be my own again? Free from dread, free from fear, free from worry, anxiety a...

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Frustration pouring out of me like flying daggers; hitting the target but not the true source. Truth is I’m mad at God. Dare I say it and let the saints attack. Its ok, that’s all they know how to do. Whew Lord, it’s been a hard day, week, year, and life. I’m already falling under this strife. I been killing it with a praise, and I still got my hands up raised. Pushing threw and giving back, falli...

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If I am to be There

I must have a reason to be here

If there is a There to be.

If I didn’t need to be here

So I could be There

There I would already breath.

So

If there is a There

And There I am meant to be

My focus there should be - eternally

But

My focus is here

With no time for thought of There

Where all the focus is monetary

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Semper animus libera

PROMETHEUS:

O Thou that watches over all

And marks the good in man

Unnamed Godhead of all the thronging spirits

Who guard thy mortal worlds -

When skies darken and the plunging waves roil through

When the mountains themselves spit ruddy fire

And melt into valleys or crash steaming into the ocean deeps -

To keep thy people safe in those mortal li...

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