Dark side Drug ride

Natural pain now overrides all illegal chems submitted. I’m now confident with this habit I’ve admitted. 

If writing makes me feel good I should do it, if singing means so much why aim so hard to lose this touch

Lyrics in music become more relatable, you become what you hear. You surrender your soul and let go of established fear.

Where is the fi...

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One last blow out. 

One last crucial hit.

A delightful dream which is

way out of the desired grip.

Every repetition of this addictive action

Every summon to this predicted slip.

Each time over and over again

Causes our precious belief to slowly rip.

The belief is to quit and seek much further beyond.

The truth that we desire of which we have oh so longed.

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i invite you in my life to feel something again

to turn my numbness into happiness;

you are my happiness 

you make me my happiest

no one loves me as much as you do.

day in and day out i consume your love and affection.

soaking up every last bit. the feeling of feeling something for someone again excites my soul.

feeling anything is so hard these days.

but then i a...

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A pale face, dark eyes, an uneasy smile,

Surrounded by a mass of tangly black curls,

She sat in that circle

Unengaged, aloof, disruptive,

There for everyone else’s sake

But her own.

Trapped in a world by demons who

Would let her see another way

But kept her from it because

It wouldn’t serve their obsessive needs.

Within screaming distance but held behind thick glass,

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Curfew

Leave the light on – lock the door

This ritual plays out each Friday

A barrier to the debauched reveller

Who slips behind the clock returning home

A curfew for the beer vampire

Who will only find a soothing bed

If father specifically invites him in

After knocking twice and shouting through the letterbox

This ancient tribal face off

Between uprigh...

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Hurdling moral barriers, 

past caution flags of life,

towards red lights,

to feel alive,

something, anything. 

Excitement rising 

in your second brain,

adrenaline coursing

through collapsed veins, 

primal howl, 

lost in the now,

while consequences growl,

like a tornado.

https://youtu.be/NdYWuo9OFAw

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Broken in tiny pieces
Shattered metaphorical and literally shattered
My soul feels bruised and battered
Years of lost trust finally found over almost a year
Gained in time but lost again through fear
Warned stay clear
All things toxic drugs and beer
Disappointment unspoken but visual
Her eyes are sad she looks miserable
She blames her self they all do
The handful of people who got me thr...

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living it like its large but life its so small

sadly it catches up with you and when you dont expect it you fall

you keep up with the trapping, feds come to your door

but theyre done with the shit and youre thrown on the floor

handcuffs are on and youre sent back away

the doctors give you the medicine that keeps the insanity at bay

back and forth for years, everyone is tired

b...

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defeated as it seems

cant resist tempation; the devils wicked schemes

all the hard work straight down the dump

cant let anyone find out i crashed over a bump

a little nervous but i dont seem to care

ive lied to so many people, including myself, i know its not fair

not a single moral thought running through my head

this might be the time i overdose and remain dead

i cant dec...

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agile mind dimmed by the drugs

they say shes a dopewhore; she fucks all the plugs

no one to care for her, shes losing her mind

but deep down inside theres a loving soul you'll find

scared of her shadow shes been badly abused

covered in makeup so you cant see that shes bruised

turned to the gang because it was the only thing left

but it wasnt what it seemed full of lies and ful...

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the pain gets too overwhelming

i find myself sitting alone dwelling 

on the past life that led me to drugs

i sit wondering where i went wrong, lost all my friends; im an outcast, i dont belong

and i dont understand why god kept me living

what does all he suffering bring but an eternal hell thatg suffocates me

losing all efforts, it feels like i cant breathe

and the battle goes...

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dangerous minded

cant forget all the things that happened, im constantly reminded

tramatizing pictures in my head

the doctors got worried so they put me on some meds

because i couldnt deal with my mental

derailing and my thoughts became detramental

i couldnt handle my life anymore

couldnt stop the impulses before...

it was too late, theres drugs involved, using them i thoug...

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shes desperate for a fix

anything for the drugs so that includes taking dangerous risks

calling up every drug dealer she knows, to see if theyd give her something in exchange for taking off her clothes

didnt matter what they gave her, so long as she was high and the night was a blur

every couple hours a new man was involved

when she was caught one night her family was appauled

a ...

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followed the wrong path, struch down by society

tried to make music but couldnt get the propriety

had the struggles, went through it involuntary

to give my heart to anyone now i am very wary

if you see me smile - im not happy - its rarely

it was my choices that led me here if i put it fairly

no anyone to hold me as i push myself through

not even a father to see how ive grew

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like a regenerating grande

blowing up when my wires are frayed

the time ticks down before my explosion

each timethe flames show my past of corrosion

everything around me is blown away

taking ahold of saint things as prey

"save yourself and leave"

they say ill never change so dont beleive my pleads

so i sit alone in the tragedy of war

my everything in pieces, my heart on ...

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i bet you didnt expect to be doing drugs

i bet you didnt expect to give your sister one last hug

it wasnt expected that youd die and come back

and it wasnt foretold that on your face youd fall flat

nothing was planned to downfall, nor did you think that people would break down your walls

but it happened, your innocence was taken

and your faith in god was shaken because your actio...

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what is it without actually being happy

i put together the most real pieces but it doesnt change my feelings even when theyre clapping

im really just sad but i hide it with anger

my life has never been safe, always putting myself in danger

trying to find salvation, maybe i can save myself

maybe help my momma, get my family in good health

im just tryna stay strong and change my ch...

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no place to run when i needed to go

no one to call when i didnt have a home

people didnt come near me; fear of the unknown

wondered why there was no love

why it was so hard, was i treated so rough

the serpent came to me, gave me the forbidden

with my pain i took it like eve, it changed how i was living

kept trying to make it though, grew up fast life as a kid i never knew

i...

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never had a dad had to grow up fast, couldnt get over it so i live in the past

lonely and troubled i felt all alone, with little happiness, depression was shown

i fell into violence, drugs were upcoming, nothing felt better than the way that they were numbing

into trouble is what i always got, in and out of facilities, the recovery i fought

four years and my memory is grey, im always j...

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the devil sat on my shoulder today and asked me why I changed, why I acted this way. Honestly, I replied, Im tired of the anger. Looking back at the withdrawn girl, shes a stranger. Im deserving of a willing personality, instead of wallowing in my own self-pity. She asked me dont you miss the lust, disagreeing id rather involve myself in a way of trust. Greedy the serpent showed disrespect. With m...

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I long to choose at my descretion

share my stories and teach lessons

to drive my car freely around

and to be scholarly, medical bound

loving myself and attending to my needs

servicing others and doing good deeds

how I dream of all the goals ill achieve

and all of the praise and good fortune ill recieve

from despair to hope I look for the future

taking back and repairing ...

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One life is swell, 

the other is a living hell. 

Trying to bridge the great divide, 

but the chasm is too wide. 

Chasing light where darkness resides. 

A grey goose gouges my eyes, 

pecks my mind. 

Naked. Nowhere to hide. 

Cowering to the joker inside. 

Praying God sends his army

to help me make the climb,

out of the abyss to my sober life. 

https://youtu.be/NG2...

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