internal struggle (Remove filter)
Yet Again
The feeling
haunts me
time and time again.
I feel it as it’s coming
like a scent upon the wind.
Like wind across the predator
wafts out to warn the prey.
So likewise all I know and feel
screams, “turn and run away!”
But something deep inside me
in a way I can’t explain,
finds pleasure in the desecration,
need inside the pain.
So, mind and heart...
Tuesday 13th February 2024 4:08 am
Dark Cloud
A dark cloud over me
No matter how hard I battled I seemed to be stuck
No matter how hard I tried to overcome the struggle it was eating me alive
Breathe, wake up, walk
What is wrong with you I yelled, " You have God!"
Get up battle, don't give up
Life keeps throwing punches at you
Life keeps making you fall
But fight, fight and be strong
Don't give up
Don't you dare ...
Saturday 1st February 2020 2:54 pm
I Don't Even Know
I don't know.. my life seems out of my control... It's no longer mine it's in the hands of those around me and the governing forces that keep me in line.. I just don't know.. it feels so weird to be sober.... So... Weird... Its not normal for me to fall asleep in a natural way. It almost feels unnatural.. my addiction has become the ruling figure in my life not my emotions,love or financial stabil...
Friday 10th August 2018 4:29 am
The Girl Who Cried Wolf
I thought I had changed
I thought I was better
I thought I beat it
I thought I fixed it
But here I stand
Trying to be tall
Knowing I am so small
The world pressing down
I’m scared again
Swore I never would be
And no one likes it
No one wants to hear it
So keep it hush
Keep it low
Don’t want to be
The girl who cried wolf
But until ...
Monday 2nd April 2018 10:05 pm
Growing Up
I am fifteen years old and I think I own the world.
I have a boyfriend and he loves me.
He yells at me but that is okay, he loves me.
He shoves me but that is okay, he loves me.
He slapps me but that is okay, he loves me.
He holds me down as I yell and scream because it hurts but that is okay, he loves me.
I am sixteen years old and I escaped my first abusive relationship.
...Monday 24th July 2017 10:43 am
Stolen Sleep
The Fact of no naps no snaps or snap backs
To wake you up from the fact you were never sleep
Can't sleep for the time you weep but seep
Into the fact that you can't sleep
Wanting to have dreams and past a test with ease
But I can't sleep
There has been a robbery where sleep doesn't reflect on eat
From the fact eat didn't take care of sleep
To where somebody has stolen eat a...
Thursday 2nd June 2016 6:24 am
Caught in the Spider’s Web While Cupid Shoots Arrows in My Head
You’ve gotta help me
Please
I know
I know
I know
There is something wrong with me.
It's an illness!
A disease!
But it's not,
It's foolish
And everyone
(excluding sociopaths)
Gets caught
In the messy web
Of the venomous spider
That is called
A crush.
God,
I have a crush.
I need help,
But his hair has these lovely curls,
He’s...
Monday 18th April 2016 3:18 pm
I'd like you to like me
I'd like you to like me
and I'd like you to know,
Id doesn't like me and Superego doesn't know where to go.
I've planned a trip to where the tulips grow -
find a vein, push a plunger, let the psychotropes flow.
I know you don't like me
and we've nowhere to go.
Ego doesn't know what to do and Id has hate to sow.
I'd like you to, I'd like to oblige you to throw
away m...
Monday 11th April 2016 2:32 pm
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