living it like its large but life its so small

sadly it catches up with you and when you dont expect it you fall

you keep up with the trapping, feds come to your door

but theyre done with the shit and youre thrown on the floor

handcuffs are on and youre sent back away

the doctors give you the medicine that keeps the insanity at bay

back and forth for years, everyone is tired

b...

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defeated as it seems

cant resist tempation; the devils wicked schemes

all the hard work straight down the dump

cant let anyone find out i crashed over a bump

a little nervous but i dont seem to care

ive lied to so many people, including myself, i know its not fair

not a single moral thought running through my head

this might be the time i overdose and remain dead

i cant dec...

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agile mind dimmed by the drugs

they say shes a dopewhore; she fucks all the plugs

no one to care for her, shes losing her mind

but deep down inside theres a loving soul you'll find

scared of her shadow shes been badly abused

covered in makeup so you cant see that shes bruised

turned to the gang because it was the only thing left

but it wasnt what it seemed full of lies and ful...

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the pain gets too overwhelming

i find myself sitting alone dwelling 

on the past life that led me to drugs

i sit wondering where i went wrong, lost all my friends; im an outcast, i dont belong

and i dont understand why god kept me living

what does all he suffering bring but an eternal hell thatg suffocates me

losing all efforts, it feels like i cant breathe

and the battle goes...

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dangerous minded

cant forget all the things that happened, im constantly reminded

tramatizing pictures in my head

the doctors got worried so they put me on some meds

because i couldnt deal with my mental

derailing and my thoughts became detramental

i couldnt handle my life anymore

couldnt stop the impulses before...

it was too late, theres drugs involved, using them i thoug...

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shes desperate for a fix

anything for the drugs so that includes taking dangerous risks

calling up every drug dealer she knows, to see if theyd give her something in exchange for taking off her clothes

didnt matter what they gave her, so long as she was high and the night was a blur

every couple hours a new man was involved

when she was caught one night her family was appauled

a ...

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followed the wrong path, struch down by society

tried to make music but couldnt get the propriety

had the struggles, went through it involuntary

to give my heart to anyone now i am very wary

if you see me smile - im not happy - its rarely

it was my choices that led me here if i put it fairly

no anyone to hold me as i push myself through

not even a father to see how ive grew

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like a regenerating grande

blowing up when my wires are frayed

the time ticks down before my explosion

each timethe flames show my past of corrosion

everything around me is blown away

taking ahold of saint things as prey

"save yourself and leave"

they say ill never change so dont beleive my pleads

so i sit alone in the tragedy of war

my everything in pieces, my heart on ...

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i bet you didnt expect to be doing drugs

i bet you didnt expect to give your sister one last hug

it wasnt expected that youd die and come back

and it wasnt foretold that on your face youd fall flat

nothing was planned to downfall, nor did you think that people would break down your walls

but it happened, your innocence was taken

and your faith in god was shaken because your actio...

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what is it without actually being happy

i put together the most real pieces but it doesnt change my feelings even when theyre clapping

im really just sad but i hide it with anger

my life has never been safe, always putting myself in danger

trying to find salvation, maybe i can save myself

maybe help my momma, get my family in good health

im just tryna stay strong and change my ch...

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no place to run when i needed to go

no one to call when i didnt have a home

people didnt come near me; fear of the unknown

wondered why there was no love

why it was so hard, was i treated so rough

the serpent came to me, gave me the forbidden

with my pain i took it like eve, it changed how i was living

kept trying to make it though, grew up fast life as a kid i never knew

i...

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never had a dad had to grow up fast, couldnt get over it so i live in the past

lonely and troubled i felt all alone, with little happiness, depression was shown

i fell into violence, drugs were upcoming, nothing felt better than the way that they were numbing

into trouble is what i always got, in and out of facilities, the recovery i fought

four years and my memory is grey, im always j...

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the devil sat on my shoulder today and asked me why I changed, why I acted this way. Honestly, I replied, Im tired of the anger. Looking back at the withdrawn girl, shes a stranger. Im deserving of a willing personality, instead of wallowing in my own self-pity. She asked me dont you miss the lust, disagreeing id rather involve myself in a way of trust. Greedy the serpent showed disrespect. With m...

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I long to choose at my descretion

share my stories and teach lessons

to drive my car freely around

and to be scholarly, medical bound

loving myself and attending to my needs

servicing others and doing good deeds

how I dream of all the goals ill achieve

and all of the praise and good fortune ill recieve

from despair to hope I look for the future

taking back and repairing ...

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there's no one here but me, bottles all around, the music's faded it's a melancholy sound

party streamers on the floor, the room drenched in drugs and sadness

it's hazy and in reality, you aren't glad this...

EVER happened

at first, it all seemed fun and you were happy at the time

now they're disappointed, now you want more, now you're back down the mountain you took so long to clim...

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Porcelain doll, why are you frowning?

She said, "I am you", "Look at my damage, all the drugs you're downing"

Cracked and peeling, there's no reverse.

She started crying, "Are you going to stop now or make it worse?"

Porcelain doll, how do I stop?

She said, "That's on you."

I take another pill and I hear a pop.

Piece after piece falls on the floor.

She cries out as it hurts...

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Deleted the dealer. Threw put the pills.

Used the rest of my money for unpaid bills.

Cut off the friends. Got myself clean.

Mentally ready but physically a fiend.

Going to meetings. Trying to talk.

The constant urge to do dope I have to block 

I don't really care, but at the same time, I do.

Hopefully, at some point, the right answer will breakthrough. 

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The words you speak you don't mean to slur, you think you know what you're saying but it's all a blur. Missing the way things used to be, but crying at the cost of living; it's no longer free. Wanting more 'n more but you have to quit. Sadly it's your only coping skill to make you forget. You drink and you drink but now you're just sick, after four years you'd think that'd it'd click. Never does t...

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