I don’t want to mask my poetry

I want you to understand me

Curse your perfect rhythms, rhymes, haikus

Your lyricism, your literary

When I try to adopt it, I turn mute.

Something channels through me

(I’ve never really found the root)

A demanding stream of consciousness

That cannot stop to breathe, let alone

Wait, conceptualise, draft, redraft

I can’t!

...

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I tried beautiful,

I tried pristine,

I was no good at it

I’m not neat within

I’m not “clean”

Even externally, I cannot master

Clearing every bit of clutter

I’m raw, like an egg

It’s not pretty to have a cracked head

But if I don’t

I’m practically dead

As inanimate and detached as my wooden bed

To be raw is

Painful,

Ugly,

Messy,

But it’s rich with fee...

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I’m sorry to disappoint you

That I can be too sweet and so weak

And yet I can be cold and cruel too

That I can completely snap to my core

And morph into a creature of different sorts

I’m sorry that I’m not white or black

Or immaculate

Or of any matter 

For that fact

I’m not anything 

At all

Not wholly whole

You see,

Incompleteness 

Has been my superpower 

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Real love is life threatening 

It’s not serene, sweet, dream love

It’s not romantic, rainbow love

No

True love is torture 

Gut wrenching pain

Hands and knees, love 

Need it to breathe, love 

It’s enough to put you away, love 

But never pull you away, love 

It’s masochistically addictive 

It titillates and irritates

Possesses every bit 

Until you have a fit

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What is the scale of reality?

We all have our own truths

Our own views

How do you quantify actuality?

“A fantasy is a vision

It is solely in your vision

It is envisioned by you

A vision is a fantasy”

But saints had visions!

Politicians have visions!

Some people have double vision

Anyone that has sight has vision

Whether they have a sixth sense

Or no...

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My mouth took some months to bloom

My words took some weeks to flower

You and I do not speak different languages

We possess different meanings

“What is the curl of your tongue?

What is the grind of your teeth?

What is the bow in your brows?

What do you mean?”

Your bottom line is neat and fine

Your ballpoint pen bullet-proof

Underlined

My point is a r...

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