This one does much better in the spoken word I think - listen to the audio

 

I do so love to watch my porn,

despite the warnings I’ve been warned
of impending blindness and limp right wrists
the end result negates these risks
Because I love the girls who squeak and moan
I love the girls who do it on their own
I love the ones on mobile phones
And I love the ones who are baking scones...

Bending down ...

There is a bloke in this old town,
you might know him - Tk - he gets around,
Now Tk’s lovely, a heart of gold,
wouldn’t hurt a fly be it young or old
But allow me, if I can be so bold,
to outline his downside if the truth be told
Behind his innocent young lips
there's a world of nouns and verbs unfit
for human consumption, well at least not kids
but its not just swearing, thats not it
His mysogyny, it kn...