alex iamb

Biography

Alex was born to kind, loving parents who have supported him unswervingly and without question in his every endeavour. He has consistantly thrown this loyalty back in their faces by refusing to endeavour. At anything. Ever. Until now. I'm based in Cambridge but will travel to the ends of the earth if there's half a chance of an audience for me to spout at. I've done gigs all over from quiet cafes to packed out festival audiences. Do please get in touch with me if you like what you read/hear. It gets bloody lonely sat here writing all day and pretending to look at employment sites. Tough job but someone's got to do it.

Samples

Snarls, Frowns and Eiderdowns or The Kathryn Poem There was a girl named kathryn from Cambridge Who returned from Ibiza to feel much umbridge Her bed, her nest, her roost, her coop Had obviously been sullied not onth or tooth But thrice! she bewailed her stain-ed sheets Before deciding to have out her beef And so the stairs she thundered down Bearing malice, snarls and frowns And there she bellowed to all the land ‘whose been fucking in my bed?’ And... Was met with glances swift and sideways Everyone’s averted gazes Left right and centre they look away they can’t quite bring themselves to say we’ve all been in it, we’ve all used your bed it was the only spare kingsize in the A-Z we’ve bounced and we’ve bundled and had our wicked ways we’ve frolicked and fumbled and fondled for days but really now Kathryn there’s no need for this bother it was a crazy weekend just like any old other one man in your bed and then next up his brother then probably his dad then why not his mother? In fact it was mentioned, it was said at the scene That the only real difference that anyone could see was that you weren’t there grinning like a pussy full of cream banging headboards off walls and broadcasting screams of passion or pain? We can never quite tell Your voice goes so hoarse when you holler and yell But we know we’ve been awful, we know we’re a test We’ll get you new sheets and wipe down the bed We’ll shampoo your mattress and clear up the mess Now how was Ibiza, did you get any.....? And so goes the parable of Kathryn of Ibiza Lets have a think and see what it can teach her Her lovers many and mere moments between Come and go in a constant stream As she uses their lust to boost low self esteem She’s every girlfriend’s worst nightmare A pornographer’s dream But its not my place to criticise how lusty youths live out their lives legs akimbo, frigid or gay have your fun and make your hay but if kathryn had ever shown true self-respect her friends may well have respected her bed Jobby Bloody Jobline I'm at the jobby bloody jobcentre ringing jobline No jobby body's bloody answering they've got more job than time Maybe if I had a job, answering jobline I'd be in there earning money instead of wasting time and maybe if I had a job answering their phones more folk'd get the jobs they want instead of staying home but instead I'll sit here hanging on the jobby telephone waiting for an answer from some bored old jobby drone and when they finally pick it up it's a jobby answer phone thank you for your patience but jobby jobline's closed

All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.

Blog entries by alex iamb

Pavlovian Mobile (11/08/2008)

Your Love (10/08/2008)

Absolute filth - not for the old or infirm (07/08/2008)

The Lament For Tampon Boy (06/08/2008)

Once More Unto The Pub Dear Friends (06/08/2008)

Break Up In Two Breaths (06/08/2008)

Pornography (06/08/2008)

My Tabloid Hell (05/08/2008)

Cocaine and Crossword Puzzles (05/08/2008)

The Trouble With Tk (05/08/2008)

Read more entries by alex iamb…

Blog link: https://www.writeoutloud.net/blogs/alexiamb

Audio entries by alex iamb

Break Up In Two Breaths (06/08/2008)

Pornography (06/08/2008)

The Trouble With Tk (05/08/2008)