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nonsense (Remove filter)

Upstairing A Nightly Groan

upstairing a nightly groan

of slow doored creaks

roomed a floorboarded wisp

yet twelving an houred air

midded hands trickling past

and hearted heavy those

the trembling onsleepers

 

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nonsenseexperimentalword play

A Dog And A Frog On A Spoon

a dog and a frog

who stood on a spoon

and went round the town

in their dressing gown

 

said the dog to the frog

oh lets spoon to the moon

so they jumped up and down

and the spoon left the ground

 

look look oh look at the moon

how truly exciting said the dog

spoon spoon we went on a spoon

would you believe it said the frog

 

to the moon to the moon

t...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

A Fairly Scary Ghostly Host

a creak, an eek and eery melt

in darkness subtle shimmer felt

berroling, droom in shadow dealt

tip-tipping softly shooming out

 

a ghost that leaked and trickled through

the walls with leeg and gentle woo

a seep and freep from room to room

maroding gooey down stairways too

 

the air was still but full of groan

in silence, goosebump’s ready tone

weel in seel in f...

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nonsensefunspooky

Old Woodbeard

argh

the wooden pirate

with a real leg

‘pon his left shoulder

not a parrot but a peg

 

argh

his ship inverted

sailed ‘neath the wave

and in his treasure chest

was a craggy cave

 

argh

he roared with rum

empty barrels were full

his flag was white

black bones and skull

 

argh

the flag though ripped

caught on his hook

but not for a hand

...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

Darn Owl Not Barn Owl

I swallowed an owl

I didn’t mean too

 

it flew in when my mouth was open

as I stood admiring a flowery garden

its feathers tickled making me cough

 

and scoff

                  a lot

                             panic and shout

 

and a little while later

then the darn thing flew out!

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

The Crazy World Of The Fruit And Veg Folk

mr onion with his mad mad hair

miss pepper with her smoothen skin

mrs lemon looking so so fair

master cauliflower’s complexion

 

the long long nose of sir carrot

the red red face of dame tomato

the velvet touch of lady apricot

the rustic charm of lord potato

 

father pumpkin’s autumn face

grandma asparagus’ spring fingers

mother strawberry’s summer grace

gran...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

To Sea You See

I packed my worth on a dinner plate

and walked afar out to sea

you see

 

I reached an odd little island

shaped like a banana and pea

you see

 

I met a blue polka dot creature

with a hot pot of honey and tea

you see

 

I was poured a mug and we talked

such a charming and wise pigmy

you see

 

I realised the hour was late

better get back to home said ...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

Ostrich Learning To Swim

an ostrich learning to swim in the sea

his neck like a stick floating vertically

swirling and rounding

and bobbing a wave

an invisible hand stirs a big cup of tea

 

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

Perfection

when I look at a bird

in a tree

the first thing

I notice is

its colours

are

within the lines

 

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nonsensefun

The Haunting Scary Broogle

bescare the Broogle stalking the stair

floiting hoiting loitering there

the Broogle the Broogle its howl of a scare

heeden oh heedon unsqueem beware

the Broogle the Broogle stalking the stair

 

befear the Broogle creepingly near

gooling hooling gathering here

the Broogle the Broogle emitting a fear

hissen oh hissen frooting the ear

the Broogle the Broogle creepingly n...

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nonsensefunscary

Shrew In A Shoe

o shrew in a shoe

shoo shoo

but he wouldn’t go

 

chew through the shoe

shoo shoo

chewed from heel to toe

 

nurse a poor tum

shoo shoo

he belched and was ill

 

greedy old shrew

shoo shoo

you’ve eaten your fill

 

find a new home

shoo shoo

one you can’t chew

 

its pair you jump to

shoo shoo

o shrew in a shoe

 

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

Old Bazzam - The Gallu-Gallu Ghost

begroan the ghoul who floots the floor

it sidles wodely rombles

and seen by some who vallacate

the hotel rooms it froodles

 

midnight is the time they say

the gallu-gallu grumbles

shrumbling in the corridors

and shrooning down the stairalls

 

intriguers flock from far and foyle

to witness Old Bazzam

and stay a night at their behowl

to see the ghoul then scram

...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

Something Oddly Familiar About This Nonsense

“Abe, easy Dee, effigy, eight chives, Jake, ale, Em,

any hope, peak you, arrest a ewe, feed other ewe”

                                                             ex-wife said

 

she certainly SPELT it out!

he then went on to reCOUNT

 

“When, too, furry forks, fave socks sieving, eat known tin”

 

and there was something oddly familiar about it all

when ex-husband and ...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

Lists

there's something intrinsically poetic about lists…

1.
bread (wholemeal)
twelve eggs
solar panels
occasional frogs
corporate lawyers
steam


2.
onions (red)
tomatoes (finely chopped)
garlic (four cloves)
fireman's ladder (aluminium)
disparity (secretly hidden)
mildness (abundant)
gluttony (almost definite)
mozzarella (abridged)


3.
clean sink
dirty sink
point un-necessar...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

The Bug Chronicles - A Field Guide To Creepy Crawlies

the spider
he, with cotton in his bottom
for the silken manufacture
dressing flies he likes to capture
in the evening wear for dinner
oh the spider, what a spinner

the wasp
he, with a pin for a sting
and the flailing arms he causes
people run like wild horses
from their summer barbecues
oh the wasp, such afternoons

the ant
he, having friends in the thousands
how the picnic blanke...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

The Ravenous Witch

the ravenous witch

famished with greed

tummied and toothed

in scoops could she eat

 

pickles and pockles

and piggy trough trays

gorging, gullooging

and munching for days

 

she went picking parcels

and morsels of stuff

jiggleberries, hockleberries

but never enough

 

apples and hopples

pebbles and pears

the horribliest fruit

even one covered in h...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

I Walked Through A Tunnel

I walked through a tunnel

like a finger rubbing around

the inside of a wine glass

round and round

fround bround vround tround

round and round

through the tunnel as a funnel

speeding up

kround zround jround pround

I walked through a tunnel

down to the darkness

down and down

bown hown rown zown

down and down

round and round

dark and stark

I walked thro...

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surrealismsurrealnonsense

Gulp! What Did You Swallow?

gulp!

ahurr ahurr ahurr

“I swallowed a cricketer”

he shouted with a cough

but, we asked, in a joking scoff

“do you not mean a cricket?”

then to our amazement

and in the very next minute

he regurgitated a bat!

which promptly flew back to its cave

and that, it seems, was that

 

 

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

At At

there is a place at at at

it is by by by

which is near near near

not too far from from from

you can get there via via via

and to be honest it is nice to stay at at at

it’s up to you really

 

but if you do stay at at at

you might visit visit visit

from there go to to to

then, if time, see see see

not so scenic as as as

reminded me of of of

but again it’s up...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

A Dinner’s Reprise

trifle made with custard

garden gloves and mustard

 

dinner listen answer me

do you want a pie and cup of tea

 

bake the shed ‘til ten past three

then eat it with a stormy sea

 

dinner can you hear me

don’t cry go home early

 

trifle made with custard

garden gloves and mustard

 

 

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nonsense

The Parrot Cooked A Dinner

the parrot cooked a dinner

the dinner he cooked was a carrot

 

when the swan burst into song

and the thrush told him to hush

 

the starling asked for more food

more food he asked for starving

 

when the owl then sang out loud

and the crow told him to go

 

so a meal of interruption

ruined this fine carrot luncheon

 

then all was quiet, nothing heard

u...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

The Donkey Set The Table

the donkey set the table

but the table set was wonky

 

when the crane brought the game

and the mice brought the dice

 

the horses cooked the food

and the food they cooked in courses

 

the deer brought the beer

and the koala brought the cola

 

so an evening full of fun

promised fun for all the evening

 

then the tiger turned up later

but unfortunately...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumouroussilly

The Jingly Jib

you know he’s a Jib

the way you can tell

he jingles and jingles

like a jingly bell

 

but sometimes their jingle

mysteriously goes

then Jibs cry all day

and why, nobody knows

 

being a Jib

can often be tough

expected to jingle

and jingle with love

 

then on the days

where love is not felt

Jibs lose their jingle

and Jibs will then wilt

 

so...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumoroussilly

The Hapless Toad

the hapless toad

who croaked a verse

and moved the trees around him

 

did sway the branches

sway the leaves

at the most profound of meaning

 

and too did cry

the birds above

at so beautiful a stanza

 

and soon to history

rose the toad

recited oft' thereafter

 

 

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

oo's

noop

boo troon

frooing soon

 

noop

too woon

drooing hoon

 

noop

shoo shoo

oon

 

 

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nonsensefunfunnyhumoroussensual

Uncle Ned, Fung And Poke

Dong was a song

that Fung the dog sung

 

Moke was a joke

that Poke the pig spoke

 

the Ked, a book that was read

is what Uncle Ned said

 

so Uncle Ned

his dog Fung

and his pig Poke

did Dong and did Moke

for the Ked that they wrote

 

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nonsensefunnyfunsillyhumour

Hey Ho Does An Octopus Know

hey ho

does an octopus know

how to juggle with eight cups and saucers

and the fish watching him

while the elephants swim

then he juggles with a turtle and tortoise

 

then ho hey

does the octopus say

I can do this all day round in circles

but an ache in my arm

in my arm, in my arm

and so on through all eight tentacles

 

so hey ho

let the octopus go

...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumorousfor children

Packedy-Pack I’m Packing

I went on holiday

so I thought I’d pack

I put in my head

I’d be needing that

 

I packed my arm

because where’s the harm

 

so too my toes

not forgetting my face

oh, my other arm too

went into the case

 

better take my legs and feet

they’re important indeed

 

I added my hips

and my ‘you know what’

well you never know

I might need it or not

...

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nonsensesillyfunnyfunhumour

The Gigglephant And Giraffalaugh

a gigglephant and giraffalaugh

in a junglement’s delight

did swing on a vine

most of the time

but today decided to fight

set to did they

but laugh did they

and tried with all their might

then merriness won over day

and they tickled until night

 

 

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nonsensesilly

The Blatherwight

Hyyre n proave

pon sheed unjoad

in hoye ‘n hoyle-howls

befuddled word, o’blite absurd

he gurgled remott’d vowels

 

Lesp he ‘n shyy

for ryle deride

aggrinn aggurny byy

rillig speech, from creatured-eeb

flowed his otherworldly vibe

 

So jue a norn

to borrishly

this being spoke in tongue

but wopeth no apology

for such unbridled shrung

 

It siff ! ...

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nonsensefearfantasyhorrorscarywordswordplaylight verse

Why Things Happen

The splash changed the course of the universe

as the fish startled in his round of the pond.

Why are you here? asked the fish.

I fell in, cried the rat, wearing water he donned.

 

Why did you fall in? again from the fish.

I just fell in, just fell in, that is all.

But why, you could have fallen several ways

but you fell in here so why into this pool?

 

I lost my balan...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

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