An Aussie Farmer's Lot.

Ah ! the sumptuosity of blessed

virgin flesh

the thoughts of carnal knowledge

as we hurry to undress

But soft; I hear the lowing

of an agitated cow,

such trial and tribulation

weigh heavy on my brow

Pray hold the moment madam

whilst I service Daisy-Bell

then take a soapy shower

to eradicate the smell !

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The Gift  (Limerick)

At the end of a trip to Tibet

I brought home for my daughter a pet

"You fool," said her Mamma

"She asked for a 'LLAMA'

You're short of one 'L' I regret."

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Your dandruffed head which once was fair

Your sweaty armpits clogged with hair

Those sagging tits that touch your knees

That fluff-filled navel full of fleas

God ! you're sexy when you're bare.

And you my love are perfect man

Your dentures even have a tan

And though your willy's lost its zing

Eventually it still goes in

You're HOT........come take me while you can.

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Yesterday a policeman shit on my head

when I went to complain to a pigeon

about my gypsy being stolen by two cars.

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Morning Glory

I woke up with a girl in my bed

It stunned me so here's what I said:

"My god you're attractive

are you sexually active?"

She replied, "Are you right in the head?"

............................

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