Left

5:27 am

It is time to get up.

Airport.

Shower – I use the woman’s fancy shampoo.

Toothpaste, lotion, brush; done – in the black hygiene bag.

The woman enters the bedroom to check on me, “You have everything?”

“Yes,” I say, “I think so; if I leave anything, you could send it to me?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Okay,” I say.  She walks to the kitchen and sits down softly with ...

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I sit quiet, smoked out with sage and gratitude, love overwhelmed.  Of course, for God and Christ, white crystals and frankincense, and high frequency vibration ever rising, but most of my thoughts are of you.

I’m grateful…

For our teach-learn/learn-teaching.  It pushes through and sheds light and mostly – it paints.

With wide colorful strokes, our shadow projects into the ethers and I se...

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Sweet sting of truth… I only heard it because it came from you.

Better person

Laughter, when I was born of tears… oh, what a rebirth!

Of course you don’t get all the credit for my understanding of love; I spent many years as an autodidact cardiologist.

But it would be a capricious falsehood to say that I would be anything close to Me

without You.

You have call...

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Guilt Rebuked!

You liar!

A wretched bully’s sidekick

                    claiming nothing of your own.

You don’t even know when to agree

                                                 – just agree with everything, always.

And your answer is always the same.

Coward!

Whisper your poison and 

                         look away as if…

But I know it’s you;

I...

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Dream Family

Family:

A group of two or more persons related by birth, marriage, or adoption who live, [or have lived], together; all such related persons are considered as members of one family.

-Definition according to Health Resources & Services Administration (HRSA)

We talk about it, but it only counts if we do it – live it,

Family. 

Give up, then no Family, just people ...

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When the needle pricks your finger.

When you hide under the covers.

When you look under the bed.

When you go down into the basement.

When you dig up the root in the yard.

When you lay someone to rest.

When you drill to find water.

When you mine for gold.

When the sink hole collapses.

When you drop deep inside Krubera.

When Earth cracks in two and you reach t...

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Sad at a bar.   sitting on the deck.  watching 

boats drift by; 

finished my grouper sandwich; sipping on my lemon water

wondering -- 

So close to your lips, how did I get so far away in your mind?

I told you a long time ago, you would never have to yell          but

I do.

Today was a break,

          after a break,

                     after a break.                C...

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Slapping and stretching her palms on the shore,

She is desperate to reach her old Love again.

Time and Wintertide have pushed her back; drained her.

And she longs recklessly to re-cover her ancient home.

The imprint of her love is littered in the limestone, 

In the petrified wood of the Peace River, 

In the red fingers of Dades Gorgem,

Nested on the peak ...

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I Want to Stay Here

I am 47 years old.  I still want to wander.  I am taking a writing class and a literature class, and I am married, though we are not in practice at the moment.  It has been a year since last Wednesday.  In those hours, to my husband, we have been: in-love, divorced, married, separated, engaged, and divorced again.  Right now I think we are imagining ourselves, whatever ...

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The Hard Moment

Woe to the heart that finds herself here.  Woe to her.

Woe to her breath that has been yanked from her chest

Woe to the scraping agony of fear.

Woe to her who falls prostrate on the floor.  

Her heart beats slow black as a crow

And she scratches to find the door

Woe to her who looks up to seek hope.  

She drenches her skirt with tears and dirt

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Friends.  They come whether I want them to or not

And I try to back away saying, "Thank you, but I’d rather not."

When, if my secret’s out, it's our connection I crave

To be, and just to be, in a place, in a way, in moments that you gave.

I once was afraid of remembrances, I guess I still am a little

But now memories embrace and tether and, sometimes, they even tickle

Your o...

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She is the mystery only  Earth knows

She moves in and out at her will and her pleasure

She has no brokenness, she has endured 

She seeks her worth in worthy places

And she calls the sky home

She is happiest in the daytime

Unafraid of the bright exposing sun

She has nothing to rid or conceal

She is an open book, though hard to read.

And she is comfortable alone

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Oh, don’t tell my heart she is aging

Don’t let her know that she’s grown

She’s still loving, laughing, engaging

Don’t let on that you know

She still dances in moonlight

She still breaths to see you

She’s still singing in free flight

Her childish love is still true

She still flutters at your smile

And you’re all she can think to say

She is still reckless and ...

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Man is the owner and auctioneer of his own heart, and it is most definitely for sale. 

He puts it on display at the market ready to be sold to the highest bidder.  The bid is his own lust which is never quenched and never enough. 

Once sold, it is forever mortgaged and carried away to a land of enslavement.  The only prospect of freedom is the Soul. 

The Soul can purchase the heart and...

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The years of daydreaming with irrational fairytales, the voided advise about worth and standards I never heard

The watching others fake their love and trying to mimic it to graduate into their circles of pain

The confusion - Oh the confusion! of a tormented lover striking my soul for his failures

And me pushing ever pushing some poor boy into a man he will never be, always going against t...

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My heart does long for you

In all its strangeness and confusion 

It stays sure of its love for you

It cowers down at the world 

And howls and bites back

It needs so much to be close to you

My soul gets crowded

And feels lost in the kaos

And seeks like a beggar our Lord

Sleep is fleeting and elusive

Peace comes only inside mania 

And melody within a m...

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An old melody plays and I am drawn into the mouth of an old memory

I am in a small dark tent, sleeping in my uniform in the ancient deserts of Jordan

This song played in my ears and I wrote to you on pages of my heart

You were more than a world away.  You were lost and I was gone.

Sarah was a little baby and your heart was broken and scared

I tried to be strong for all of us.  ...

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I’ve had seven years of poor luck

Run down men and broke down trucks

Birds that fly and never return

Heatless fires and water that burns

Oh, I’ve moved here, I’ve moved there

Gave my all without a care

Other folks seem to make a way 

Better than me on my very best day

Mama told me in her so-long letter

She was cursed, and that I should do better

She was hexe...

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The Wind has Always Been

Love has not always been.  Peace certainly not.

My spirit has waxed and waned in my human heart.

Family.  Family is but an idea no more real than the clouds

But the wind, the wind has always been, and with her there is no doubt.

In the fields as a child when I was wrestling with my spirit

She carried You fast to me - close that I may hear it

...

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The dreary sludge slinked along and oozed into our intimate conscience.

The thick pernicious inferno of fear infested closer, ever closer,

Burning the life from creation and suffocating reason with anti-reason.

Pathways were overtaken; what seemed a way of escape was, infact, a trap.  

It crept its way into our yards, under our fences, and up against our doors.

The hot plumbic ...

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