When I was a child they called me a wean

The place where I lived, not a home but a hame.

My mum was ma mammy, my dog was ma dug

My uncle was Hugh but to us he was Shug.

A potato - a tattie, a turnip - a neep

My house was a hoose and to cry was to greet.

A wisnae was wasn't, and did not was disnae

A kiss was a winch and a red face a riddy.

If someone was simple to us they we...

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Oi heid the baw
Noo wit's the matter?
Don't greet aboot
Ma dodgy patter.
Jist gies a winch
Behind the wa'
I swear a wulny
Tell yer maw.
Al huv' ye hame
the back a ten
So how's aboot
A smooch then hen?

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