Never in 132 years have Wales beaten England by soo many points,

The pride of this win healed their aching shoulders and joints.

Wales destroyed England's grand slam dream,

With a 30 points to 3 win,Welsh smiles did gleam.

Heading into the match needing 8 points or more,

Wales were rampant and won by 27.What a score !!

The Welsh crowd in the Milenium Stadium played...

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Leave Kate alone,leave her in peace,

As an heir to the throne she is soon to release.

To give birth to your first is such a strain,

Leave her alone don't disturb her brain.

Instantaneously admired,a star in the making,

In love with Prince William,the intense responsibility she is taking.

Compassionate and loving,beautiful and great,

Leave her alone to peacefull...

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I was at the local park catching my dog's poo,

In an Asda bag as I always do.

I then put my bag and poo in the dog waste bin,

But misplaced my glove as I was putting it in.

Did'nt realise I had lost it , 'til way into my walk,

Noticed my left hand got cold as with a friend I did talk.

On the way back I retraced where I had bin,

And there I did find it hooked on...

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In the middle of the night Fiona awoke screaming in pain,

"Quick dear husband ring the doctor,my appendix is driving me insane! "

Dave rang the doctor,whom he knew really well.

"Don't panic,took out her appendix four years ago,I remember it well.

Whatsmore,I've never come across anyone with two appendix in my life."

"Thats fine,but have you ever heard of anyone having a new ...

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Hilda and Fred were on holiday in Clacton,

She called at the dentist and asked for an extraction.

No gas or injection,it will be cheaper and easier,

Just extract the tooth "she told the old geezer.

"You are so brave and you have no fear."

Hilda turned to Fred and said,"Show him your tooth my dear."

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After a goodwill errand for his snow struck neighbours,

To a Barclay's in Bletchley on a walking frame Bert labours.

Retired 85 year old navy chef Bert Lock,

Sat at home alone in a state of shock.

On leaving the branch faulty sliding doors left him with a fractured hand.

They crushed him and on the floor in a heap he did land.

"Turn the doors off they are not worki...

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Two men had been drinking heavily at the Dish and Spoon,

"One man said,What a beautiful night,look at that moon !" 

"Your wrong ,"said the other man "Thats definitely the sun !"

"Lets have a bet on it,think I've won."

Another man came along and they asked him ,"What do you think ?"

He gazed up at the sky while wobbling through drink.

"I'm on my way home,I've had to...

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Serious accidents involving police chases are more common than you think.

The pursued in a panic to get away drive to the brink.

A stampede ignites in the perpertrators brain and panic sets in,

Innocent lives abruptly ended,completely destroyed, a sin !

6/01/13  South London

A positive hit on the police car's automatic number recognition system percipitates panic,

...

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A gust of wind swept the buggy off the sea wall.

Sam strapped in his seat into an icy sea did fall.

The tide was going out and the current was strong,

Someone had to act fast , the six month old baby didn't have long.

A saviour called George Reeder jumped without thought,

On hearing the cries of his mother,soo distraught.

"My baby ! My baby has gone in the water!" ...

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This girl is on fire,

David's speech on Europe she did inspire.

From ice cream girl to No. 10 speech writer,

The Prime Minister's larynx ,a political fighter.

She understands fully David Cameron's tone,

Six years ago she served her last cone.

"He is straightforward and clear what he wants in his speeches,"

Clare an English graduate into her creative pot reaches...

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Jake felt the surgeon cutting into his abdomen as he woke up during an operation.

He had not been given enough anaesthetic to achieve maximum sedation. 

He lay paralysed on the operating table hearing the surgeons chat,

And felt every incision they made as they cut into his  fat.

He tried to make them aware by blinking and moving his toes,

But his body was paralysed , ...

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A man joins a monastery and makes a vow to be quiet.

Committing himself for seven years to a verbal diet.

He was allowed to utter two words every seven years.

His mouth remained shut even after a few beers.

Seven years go by and he utters ,"No pay !"

The elders nod and send him away.

Another seven years pass and he utters ,"Noisy birds !"

The elders nod and tak...

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Stan the" stallion"goes to the doctor feeling depressed and ill,

His relationship with his wife no longer had a thrill.

The doctor recommended exercise and his stamina he would rebuild.

"Jogging ten miles a day for 30 days and you soon will be fullfilled."

30 days later Stan rings the doctor  and says his stamina was great,

The doc asked whether the thrill had returned...

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And for your mane course.

Why not try a horse.

It might just give you a kick,

Then again it might make you sick.

Almost one-third of a burger was of equine decent,

The sale of which in the future the supermarket will prevent.

An appology in the press re this meal deal,

Hopefully the customer outrage will quickly heal.

Owning a pony to many young girls...

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The Accy Vic is on fire,

Treating wounds both moderate and dire.

You will never forget its name,

When you experience the warmth of its healing flame.

A stream of injuries pass through the front door,

A man with a cut hand from which the blood does pour.

A young lady by my side has fallen down stairs,

Two patients are there with ligament tears.

A lady ...

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No husband or children Lucy lived alone,

Zero text messages at Christmas not even from Vodaphone.

No-one to nest with over the Christmas break,

To pull the crackers and share the cake.

Going to the cinema with automated  ticket  machines, Lucy felt at ease.

There was no shame of saying,"Just one ticket please."

No food in the fridge,no kids and only two plates,

...

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Is your driving licence out of date?

For nearly a million motorists this warning is too late.

Drivers wrongly believe the photo card is for life,

Driving unwittingly thinking so is quite  rife.

The photo card licence every ten years must be renewed,

With a current address and an up to date likeness to be viewed.

The renewal date ,not clear,is next to a "4b "

Pl...

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Mugged in an alleyway and pulled to the ground,

A frail, partially sighted 85 year old killed for a few pound.

She was on her way back from doing a shop at a Tesco store,

Two teenage  lads were seen loitering in the alleyway minutes before,

They ran up behind her snatched her bag and ran,

A cowardly attack on a partially sighted gran.

A passer- by heard cries for h...

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