I hate how I feel

although common it seems,

having been once again

what I swore I’d not be.

Yes, despite all the talks

that I’ve had with myself,

making promises to

put the past on the shelf.

Asking Heaven to help me

and forming a plan,

putting forth my best effort

to do all I can.

But so quickly it seems

to unravel and fray,

as I lea...

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Running out of time to act,

flashes in the mind.

Running out of everything,

too late to hit rewind.

Wake and take a hammer to it,

crush it to the bone.

Pulverize what’s left of it,

make sure all life is gone.

Disregard the letters

in the alphabet arranged,

set to spell the answers out

cuz no one wants the plain.

Go on, drink the poison down.

Ta...

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Always searching for the next good time

and what the world can bring.

Always looking for the next big deal

and what it’s offering.

Never thinking very far ahead

or worrying about the cost.

Never wanting much to understand

or caring what gets lost.

Always thinking I don’t need to change,

believing that I’m fine.

Always doing what I want to do

and taking ...

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Once crashed the waves in tempest’s storm,

and blew the wind as sails were torn.

Once drove the rain against frozen skin

as darkness took the vessel in.

Once void of any hope at all,

trapped deep inside the prison’s wall,

beneath the crushing weight of lead

but faintest light shown from ahead.

Then in a moment, skies were clear

and ocean’s calm dispelled the fe...

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The state of the worse. The state of the damned.

Is this the sad state where I find that I am?

The evil inside me who long dwelt therein,

I’d given him home for he felt like a friend.

But then cast I did he out of necessity

to walk in dry places, where rest he did seek.

And while he did roam, I set forth alone

acting quickly to sweep and to garnish my home.

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Each time before when I had fallen, landing in the pit below,

I found upon the ground were words that I could gather up to build

a latticework of scaffolding to climb upon so I could go

back to the surface with the crowd, but every time I found that still

I’d stay close to the ledge not knowing why I didn’t walk away.

I told myself it wasn’t wise. I asked, “why don’t you ever l...

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Curled up in the corner

in dead of the night.

Afraid of darkness

and praying for light.

Eyes peer from the ceiling.

Hands reach from the floor.

Hearts beat from the walls

and he stands at the door.

No chemical shields me.

No masquerade hides.

The sweat of my body,

the fear in my eyes.

He’s pounding and pounding

and growing in strength.

He’s ...

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The feeling

haunts me

time and time again.

I feel it as it’s coming

like a scent upon the wind.

Like wind across the predator

wafts out to warn the prey.

So likewise all I know and feel

screams, “turn and run away!”

But something deep inside me

in a way I can’t explain,

finds pleasure in the desecration,

need inside the pain.

So, mind and heart...

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