To the one.. I ask questions, I ask the one why? All I wanted was simplistically but all I've got was duplicity,my soul burns with the best intention but my mind burns with the pain my tatterd existence....my inability to knowingly do what's best for me and my walk with fate has placed me not only in a moment of desperation for a creator that loves me but has left me with no options other than to ...

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It doesn't make sense... I'm not who I used to be... This karma that's destroying my life has been paid over and over and over...why? I really don't see the point in trying my hardest to be the person who's in my heart... The only thing I feel and deal with is pain and repercussions of actions in my past and actions that where never even acted upon... True happiness, financial stability, love... W...

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I don't know.. my life seems out of my control... It's no longer mine it's in the hands of those around me and the governing forces that keep me in line.. I just don't know.. it feels so weird to be sober.... So... Weird... Its not normal for me to fall asleep in a natural way. It almost feels unnatural.. my addiction has become the ruling figure in my life not my emotions,love or financial stabil...

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Today I realized something a lot of people go out of their way to hurt a single individual but it seems as though the way I've lived my life and every day that I fought this addiction I've learned to adapt and now not only does the single individual that I desire to downfall fall I've learned to observe things take the time to notice the small details of everything that surround me in my life so n...

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Last week as I sat in a hotel room putting a drug in a cup and pouring water upon it I asked myself who have I become? And now 7 days later I stand in a park serving those less fortunate as I and I ask myself the same question... Who have I become? No longer high and in my right mind I still don't think I can fully answer my own question... Maybe one day I may actually know the person who lives in...

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I lay here and I still lay here as the hours tick by and I watch the woman I love separated from me by such a minor distance of just a couple feet... It couldn't feel farther away... My heart aches from the pain I've caused her... My soul is ripped in two fighting on the right choice.. I love her.. she loves me... I know this.. why do I push the people who love me away? Why was I cursed with such ...

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What is love? Is it real? Is it even a possibility? I can not fathom another person really loving... Life is what it is. Humanity is cruel, and to find ones other half is only a miracle given by the one who created us... Love is strange is it instinct or is it only self preservation? Does the mind trick one into feeling only to have two more hands and a mind to help provide and support? the human ...

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Are my days numbered? Can I feel them running thin? I think as my day goes along that I can feel the cold kiss of death upon brow..   or is it just me? Do I even feel the need to live any longer? What is my purpose? My only wish was to be a husband and a father.... And yet I sit here and wonder to my self why was I not good enough? What did I do wrong? I care not to live.. I do not fear death.. I ...

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