I wish it wasn't you that hurt me.

Because you were the one

that helped heal the hurt

from the rest. 

But now I must heal from you. 

There's nothing more exciting and terrifying than that. 

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Mumma your the only person I want right now.

The only person I have ever wanted.

But I know your not real, the version of you I want is incapable of being here.

I miss her with all my heart.

I pray that she is somewhere near me, at least I know she's in my head.

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The moon is closer here.

The stars are brighter,

and the mornings are lighter.  

The trees look back at you.

The water sees through you. 

And the skies a different kind of blue. 

Even the Grey clouds hold you.

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Because In those 10-15 minutes of a scene,

I’m not me.

I'm a completely different person, in a completely different world.

A world that doesn’t really exist.

Then reality hits and you wake up from the dream.

The dream that was so real, and so fake.

And you remember who you “really” are…

Or do you.

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Something that breaks my heart a little.

You were my first.

My first date.

My first “relationship”… a real one.

My first time staying at a boys house. 

My first time on drugs.

My first Christmas that wasn’t with my own family. 

My first real experience of love.

But for you, you’ve just done it all again. 

Just another one to add to the list. 

If you remember your firs...

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The most beautiful part about life are memories.

We can feel them, deep inside our hearts.

See them, right in front of our eyes. 

But most importantly…

We can relive them, as many times as we want. 
 

- M

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