The dirt gets stuck in between the grooves of the metal

The paint gradually peeling off the cement floor

Fingerprints on the doors

Smudges and waterstains on the windows

Tufts of dust on the window sills too high to reach

Smiles translated to internalized insecurities

Compliments that I'm not confident enough to comprehend

Tension when I get scared of my reflection

Rays of ...

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It feels like it's been there from the beginning

Like a fragment of my mind is missing 

Makes me feel unappealing

Constantly scared of revealing

The emptiness of my soul

When everyone else seems whole

Determination, passion, goals

Visions of what their life will be like when they get old

I feel like I've made every mistake

However I know there are more to make

I'm try...

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My pain subsides when I lay by your side

I feel at home when I gaze into your deep brown eyes

When your arms wraps around my body

When you kiss me softly

When your legs intertwine with mine

It's better than any high

How long can you continue to be mine?

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I'm under the cover but I still feel cold

This feeling of emptiness is starting to feel old

The world feels so big but also small

Sometimes I walk sometimes I crawl

Sometimes I do nothing at all

Everything feels so subjective so incohesive 

I know it doesn't have to be this way

But I'd rather stall to keep the responsibilities at bay

We're all cogs in a machine

Each plac...

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Everyone feels distant

All my feelings are so inconsistent

My moral compass is broken

People love me but I don't love them

Where is the connection? 

I don't understand 

I'm not strong but I'm strong enough

I'm not smart but I'm smart enough

I'm not the worst but am I good enough?

You give me everything even when I don't deserve it

When I run away you hold me tighter

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I waste time left and right

every task finished slower than the last

time is passing by too fast

Will the two of us last?

Do you cry when I'm asleep?

Are you happy by my side?

Will you be content staying awake at night?

Do you think I'm worth the fight? 

Am I worth your time?

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Why do you love me so intently?

I've hurt you, I've used you.

So why? Why do you care?

Why do you continue to care?

Is it just to make it right,

or is it better to push you further away?

What do I deserve?

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Every word I pretend not to hear

riddles me with fear 

I stick it in a cage

it fuels me for another day

Why do I feel this way?

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Opportunities to the left and right

Not a single talent or desire in sight

Sitting inside lettin out a sigh 

Running out of time 

What's the meaning of this life

Who was I meant to be?

Who do I yearn to be?

Not a single answer in my mind

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When I was younger 

all I did was hunger

to be in your loving arms

to feel your warm embrace 

but all you did was spread me 

all over the place

your constant discontent 

ate at the layers 

the layers of my skin

my tissue was your issue

it wasn’t of your kin

I wasn’t made of your DNA

so you left me malnourished 

my flesh would rot

I would beg you

to heal...

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We started out small

baby steps

we went from holding hands

to hugging

you weren’t used to it

it was foreign to us both

but we decided to jump in the same boat

slowly we start to row

kisses

to cuddling

we still have a ways to go

even if we aren’t always leveled

we still find ourselves rowing the same boat.

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