Alone and different 

weird and distant 

swimming drifting 

absent missing 

in dereliction sifting 

ash stained memories 

kissing wistfully 

driven thorns 

under roses unforgiving 

notes echo misted 

bliss is pleasure less 

than drug fuelled lust 

lasts only as long 

as glass shatters 

black then red 

I feel dead 

I think about you 

then I detach 

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I forgot my grace 
I forgot my place 
I forgot myself 
inside of waste 
I made mistakes 
I was awake 
I was asleep 
I was in between 
walled in slate 
lost in grey 
persistent decay 
bends the frame 
a picture blurred 
a love refrained.

©️JMCole

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Time doesn’t exist 
outside the mind 
past and future loop 
to form a circle 
upside down 
you can see marsh 
in hearts too dark 
to dance entranced 
stars leave light marks 
upon the air 
8 travels there 
where the sun burnt black 
cuts shards across the grass 
there be a pyre 
light me a match 
a firefly a firefly 
a jar to catch 
watch time pass 
a movie reel revealed 
to all...

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Speak to be heard 
speak to make sound 
speak loud proud
yet not so proud 
bold tell the untold 
the words are there
upon the air 
just pick them out 
do not try do not care
fail to exceed perfection 
will never greet ye

©️JMCole

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You ever traveled time 

alone in a void 

you ever see that light bright 

a flicker in the dark 

two halves divide then part  

look through the air 

to see what’s not 

under the stairs 

there’s wear and mud 

tears and blood 

years bad and good 

in the end it’s all just 

deadwood. 

©️JMCole

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The black may come and go 
but it is us who own our souls 
and the light of the sky 
guides all under the blue 
by which the trees grow 
and the ocean flows 
it’s ok to be one alone 
it's ok to hold your own 
there is no endpoint 
in the paths we take 
to take away the empty place 
I lost myself but then how
I think I really didn't lose anything 
I wasn't meant 
and while all inside ...

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Remembrance
is everything
is nothing is
free is the season
for feeling
the beat of the tree
tell me a story
I cannot dream
for darkness
lives inside
and although
I see a light bright
I cannot stay
outside the night.

©JM.Cole

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Clay and mud
mixed in blood
molten wood
falling under
burnt asunder
I wander
heartless it seems
like all the world
is the idea that we
should be stranded
at the seams
I can't help but unravel
sound tight
I keep it all inside
the helpless cry
of a childhood denied
simmers now
below red black
thick acrid
hell is near
I feel it's burn
a thousand suns
could not be worse
I give m...

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Always been mute
and super super shy
easier to type
than to say out loud
don't see the blue anymore
only purple now
I go asleep then I peak
never the right time
to just sit and speak
I forget myself
then comes the stutter
makes me mad
makes me stumble
mumble mumble
comes out wrong
try try again
I lack the patience
but perfection I know
I can't feel because
nothing is perfect to ...

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Tell me a story
young friend
about
where you've been
and gone
tell me your reply
won't be so long
tell me I can't
do no wrong
paint me an ocean
pretty blue green
paint me a sky
silver grey blue
paint me a new day
yellow and red
I been waiting an waiting
a long while waiting, 

anticipating thinking
and hoping you come
blue as the sky
on a summers night
midnight is the time to...

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Love is overrated
I am an island
unto myself
I am full
I am empty
in between
a space resides
wherein I cram
the night flies
hope is blind
the stars hide
out of sight
blinding light
sharp to the right
the moon follows
foggy and low
the earth groans hollow
sunrise moans.

©JM.Cole

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Blue black
some red attached
roll the dice twice
a nine
thrice is mine
to live or die
a thousand times
throwing rocks at the sun
watching the distance
run out from under
the shame of the thunder
rolling down the mountain
looking for the blue
in the fountain
nothing is real
on cloud nine
time is acid
melting my mind.

©JM.Cole

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I still see it
the light the colour
letters and numbers
and all things black
is back
a vacant hole
where heart should be
and all for naught
I swallowed whole
the empty place
I know so well
how it owns me now
the silent ache
the constant break
inside my brain
endless questions
no answers to frame.

©JM.Cole

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Orange blue
I think about you
infinity too
but all is lost
inside this square
I can't care
I see that sky
and I wanna die
coz I wanna fly
but try as I might
I'm tied to a rock
I carry always
the love inside
my heart denied
and I throw my soul
to the sea hoping
to half drown complete
while my brain decays
in peat I find my feet
but brown is despair
and I can't breathe
that kind...

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I think in yellow
the heart's a coward
black at the core
open the door
open the door
can't wait no more
gonna lay down there
on the floor
be good now
good mud
show the love
soon my love
I come above light like air
weather's heavy over there
but here
I feel back in my space
I made some mistakes
be ok
my pain smells like rain
I watch it trickle away
down the drain
reminds me
of...

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I'm just a lost fool,
looking to die,
looking to sleep,
looking for something
I can keep
looking for me,
looking inside
too much too soon,
too high to fly,
burns the sky,
the light it blinds
the closet is a hole
in which the soul
opens whole
look inside,
red white absorbs
the night
is always gold
when it glows.

©JM.Cole

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Time is the essence of sin
orange blue
my cloudy oblivion
a line in the dark
a cross in the sand
the only place
I ever found myself
was in a high late at night
maybe that's a lie
there was one thing
but that was different
I was different
I used to be easier
I don't like to be so black
I can't deny
the thoughts in my mind
when I think about you
almost all the time
I wonder why
I ...

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The moon is here
an I got nothing
my heart is missing
though I keep on
wishing on a star
I'm drifting
left to right in and out
the sound comes low
a broken moan
hollow bones
don't trees grow
upside down
can't dig myself out
undermud
I can't feel
and even if I could
not sure I should
I don't deserve
it still hurts
the distance is lost
don't think
it rocks.

©JM.Cole

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I think about 
her green eyes 
the illusive dream 
she seems to be 
full of feeling she fills me 
lost in the back of my mind 
trying to break through 
she makes me want 
to hold onto things 
I need to let go of 
endlessly 
I could chase her mirage 
but I have to let her be 
so much I have to say 
so much silence she gives me.
She keeps me at a distance 
and I like that 
she doesn...

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The heart is cursed
to live reversed
I start at the end
and finish beginning
it's just me
I'm not forgiving
though the wrong I done
I see none
I make believe
to carry on
pay it forward
to see it through
the day is long
my soul feels
wrong.

©JM.Cole

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Burning up in the desert sun
I come undone, I want to run
but the sand slips when I lose my grip
and I sink in time blinded in the light
denying inside my heart on fire.
I get no sleep and I lose my feet
out in the deep I can’t breathe,
memory creeps
and my brain’s full of heat
drowning in the bleak,
yearning to be me,
longing to be free.
All the words inside I
can’t say
burn and bur...

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The water is good,
helps go back to the beginning
I remember my existence there
I went back 20 years,
time has no meaning
ticking crazy always
in the head
is the blue of my dread.
Used to have walls all tall
now nothing there
to absorb the fall.
Always thinking in rhyme
feel like I'm losing my mind
love to dive times five
1 in 9 is fine
love is sacred
double three following me
lik...

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One does love your spirit art 

from afar I aim my dart 

each full moon 

straight at your heart 

coz you're the fire in my veins 

with which I can't depart. 

Oh how you touch my soul 

out in the cold, 

bringing all my blue

open home, golden whole.

The chaos in my art 

never leaves me alone 

I miss being the one 

to turn you on 

sending messages 

in the d...

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Hemmed in and drowning
underground and howling
a hollow moon rises
over a faithless horizon
I wander on
heartless and blinded
a cloudy sky a starless night
black confounds til sunrise
comes around I don't exist
I'm windowless
a distant dusty mist.

©JM.Cole

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Been better worse 
still looking for that in between
but seems I'm cursed 
to live my life in reverse 
nature runs in mazes 
hamsters run in cages 
circular is a haven 
there is no rage there 
turn on the light 
the night draws
a square doesn't care 
but a triangle is always there 
see the air it goes inside
particles of dust absorb to light
colour blind I walk the night
stars shatt...

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I write you many poems 
you inspire me so deep 
my heart 
at your alter peaks 
I want nothing 
but to complete 
I'll drown myself 
out in the sea 
cause' I'll die if I can't be 

please 
give me what I need 
so I can breathe 
I'm choking on my art 
at your feet.

The moon melts to three
and my fire drowns 
inside of me.
I'll not come back, 
I can't come back 
till a sign 
you...

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All my words
are stuck again,
stuck like sand
inside my brain,
grey, bent
and out of shape.

I lost my way,
came back again
but not to stay,
still mourning the loss
of my mental haze.

Realising now
there’s magic in sound
though sometimes
it does make me frown
leaving me
no more a happy clown.

It sets me straight
as an arrow.
I aim for the sun
and within my guilt
I come un...

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Ace of clubs 
came through good 
through the blood mud 
the sound of the raven 
echoes hollow 
follow the clouds 
I see a blue whale 
let fate decide
each night I let go 
watch the black moon grow 
let the river flow 
let the hope float.

©JM.Cole

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The brain has limits 
but the mind is a freeway. 
I need the three 
like I need the tree. 
There's a constant burn 
inside of me. 
Time is not my own 
and I'm losing my soul 
to this open black hole. 
I carry it inside 
the flame like a glow 
flickers constant to and fro. 
The core is black 
and I long for the blue. 

I don't want the mud. 
I just want to be good, 
to give the lov...

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Double eights, 
wait for fate, 
an epiphany, a vision,
add, take away, 
keep the faith, 
lose the hope, 
the rope.

White noise, white space, 
static grey my brain 
only myself to blame. 
Guilt bleeds to shame, 
rage stains red, pain blue, 
black rain drizzles 
puddles muddied.

Colours run to one, 
the rainbow never ends 
like the merry go round 
inside my brain,
an oncoming t...

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I think about your shoes
and how they sound
against the grey
and the tip tap
of the melody
takes me away.
I think about your shoes
the rhythm to and thro
the way you come
to then just go
and how that absence
leaves me so cold
separate silenced alone.
I think about the snow
and how you told me once
it ruins your soles
and how that feeling
did ache in my bones.

©JM.Cole

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Time leans
against my dreams.
Inside out
my heart it screams.

In between
my mind deceives
the trees
ignore my pleas.

I'm drowning
out in the desert heat,
choking on sand
in moral defeat.

©JM.Cole

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I die inside each lonely night
I take drugs to get high
never have I
take so I don't fly 
I can't I can't 
ay ay
pie in the sky
fuck it why try
I can't get by
I never sleep
hurts to move
hurts to lose
nothing really exists
all the walls are melting
back inside my mind
I don't think
I can make it out
so many times
I asked for help
got nothing
everything broke
so I help myself
...

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I eat the fire I burn inside
it's my desire my funeral pyre
I see the light I am the night
I live in a capsule of time
inside my mind diamond bright
a fire flaming an ocean raging
caged in mayhem
a foggy haze cloudy grey
my brain decays a maze
of broken fractured
pathways
fickle is my being
but I'm not too blind
to see it
so I don't mind it
though sometimes
I despise it
what can o...

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The chaos in my mind
is killing me,
my life, a bad trip
on LSD
a rush to the brain,
serotonin, dopamine
all at once shining
blue light
a mind so open,
a heart so full,
peace,
such peace,
the sweetest sleep.

Memories are mirages,
I cannot reach.

A sinking feeling,
a dread inside around I go,
again and again,
down the rabbit hole,
just once more,
one last time
looking for a ...

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I don't know my way,
I've always walked blind,
dazed by the light,
bound to the dark,
heart tattered and torn,
mind vacant and worn.

The soul had a song once
but I lost it in the fog.

Alone now, 
I wander
forever forlorn,
the bird long flown,
my hope echoing blue
shatters on the sun.

©JM.Cole

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My heart dances 
the sun yearns for cloud 
the blue in my orbit 
so big so loud 
nothing no more 
standing in my way now 
they left the offering in the green 
black and blue, yellow too 
my golden vision 
from the desert to the wood I run 
there's a dog in the cloud 
and the moon is full and bright 
loud I see all the colour  
flickers flickers flickers blue 
purple red too 
a full ...

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Sometimes you just have to 
throw your cards 
against the wind 
and watch where they land 
six plus five is eleven 
shows me where to dive 
how to jump 
blind 

deep inside 
the mirror behind 
the future a wall 
blank 

white 
tall. 

©JM. Cole 

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All my days are like mud.
Birth is the gateway to hell.
I been standing
most my life on the edge.
Alienation in a world of same.

©JM.Cole

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Angel to ghost 
I go 
alone 
the night cold 
heavy heart torn 
rain hails bones 
brutal ache my mistake 
always alone 
always alone 
trying trying 
to go back in time 
to a place in my mind 
paradise denied 
burning inside
blue ice fire 
cracks a pain so deep 
only sounds like these 
evoke awake demons 
buried brittle knees 
signal transmits 
a radio waves 
echo cellos past 
...

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doesn't really matter anymore

which one I follow

soul blinded my heart

cracks like a cello

my art melts

absently full 

tipping flipping

upside down

and back in on itself

all the walls melt away

dreams obliterate my fate

with destiny I dance

take my chance

in the black of night

nobody ever

really holds your hand right.

I write every night

like it's...

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I see the star I do not run 
I fall apart I come undone
I live for it 
the rain the burn 
the everlasting storm 
a rush a drug 
a hurricane of pure 
fucking love.

I never met a siren 
didn't drag me out to the deep 
I drowned a few times 
came back whole complete 
from under the sea 
now I tie a rope to the lighthouse 
and swim when I please 
when I get the need 
I dig my grave 
...

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I stare straight into the sun 
a rock doesn't in the river run 
unlike the witch 
I sink like a stone 
unknown 
cold 
alone 
as in the beginning 
numb 
to my existence 
lost 
in oblivion 
a round a square 
to triangle crowned 
no coming back 
the clown drowns 
there is no sound 
out in the clouds
upside down 
hanging on a frown 
my colour fogs 
to a clay like brown 
I whistle...

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My head is full of numbers, 
my heart is full of dread 
if I go from black to blue 
all the rhymes 
will come out new. 
Red bleeds to yellow 
and all the numbers are blue
the three comes in threes and
makes the nine incomplete and 
the moon tells the secrets 
I'm not meant to keep 
it's a message of the future 
and the past complete. 

A half yellow star sharp 
pierces my art.
The ...

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I miss the rush, 
the release, 
my dopamine, 
my beautiful heroine 
addicted to you,
I never felt so blue.
It was inevitable 
that I would lose 
lost in the hues of my 
perfect muse.
Intoxicated in your mist  
searching out my sweet bliss, 
hoping for anything but

indifference.

Be my nepenthe 
and chase away the sorrow 
that leaves me so hollow.

My chemical high, 
my sweet ...

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There's a tunnel of light 
inside my mind 
through which I travel 
when the black rain falls loud 
is the sound of my soul 
hollowing out 
a fragment in time 
behind the lines I seek 
to define the being inside 
the feeling that's leaving 
my heart is racing
my vacant brain is aching 
for all the mistakes I'm making, 
the art I'm forsaking,
everything on fire 
blazing. 

©JM.Cole

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It's just a memory 
of a feeling I feel always 
when the leaves are leaving 
the air slows cold 
wet wind smells low.
Lonely is the season. 

©JMCole

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Going to die if I can't write
the moon is falling falling 
out the sky time is blind 
the night flies by, 
wind screams sin, 
a howling white oblivion 

time time time 
ticks ticks ticks 
tick tock 
tick tock
dust to rock to dust 
drops 
partial particles 
squared and triangled
falling fearless 
into the blue 
I follow the rainbow 

rabbit skips 
the echo drips 
upside down 
...

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Time is infinite now
music carries the essence 
of a soul like an echo inside
repeating rhythmically 
drumming through history 
thud thud thud comes the love 
blue red is my blood
blue was the colour 
I caught from above

like a train in my brain 
acid rain stains colour 
reclaims the lights flash 
either side a fairground ride 
alive inside my mind 
feels always like 
I'm crashing...

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Am I as impalpable as I imagine myself 
or am I verdant and sarcastic, 
opposites of what I should aspire to be? 
We all have our dragon to slay; 
I have many. 

My mind is as a billabong, 
backed up with emotion, 
I cannot control. 
Pain stretches like rivers 
into deep green fields, 
I'm so isolated in my misery 
I can feel the mistral of Southern France 
on my saffron coloured face...

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