I feel just like a chimney pot

that's been hit by lightning,

after overhearing her on the

phone, for it was frightening

having a fling with a woman

doesn't talk like that to me

why she's been off it lately

promised her she'd be free

things are now making sense

no more those tickling toes

saying I needed to be firmer

bedside drawer full of dildos

d...

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De rigueur are multiple piercings

Everyone seems to sport a tattoo

We don a livery of branded goods

Yet this paraphernalia is hardly new

Are we genuine followers of fashion,

Envying next door's Mediterranean tan

Or diven by demons in our genes

That descended from Stone Age man?

Why did tattoos become so critical?

Do your lugs really need triple bangles?

Does...

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It was 1942 and we were exhausted, we'd fought our way to Cairo

While on leave I made friends with Soraya, a local bint

She offered to get a mate to tattoo my chest on the cheap

Which was just as well in the circumstances as I was skint

Out of a library of designs I chose the Great Pyramid up the road

In those days my torso was broader than a redwood tree trunk

Time flies an...

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