It's no good, time to own up. I don't like haikus. They have never done anything for me at all. I feel very inadequate, as they're clearly pushing everyone else's buttons.

What's to be done? There's obviously something amiss, perhaps I need counselling. Maybe a therapy group. Are there, perchance, any fellow-sufferers out there feeling equally in need of re-education, who would join a small accepting group?

Someone will probably write a d**n haiku about this.

Why don't you try Tanka Dave? Joking apart - these little ditties are a good way of getting you back into writing if you are going through a dry spell or short on time. Cynthia sold them to me.

Dave I don`t like Haikus either. Some are very clever little statements others are not. Creative writing in a nutshell,but not for me.

yes, they can work occasionally, but generally they leave me cold

Hi all

Couldn't resist this one. I agree that many haikus are weak/poor (Perhaps including some of my own). It is the easiest thing in the world to write a poor haiku and post it up somewhere. To write a great one is, in fact surprisingly difficult and requires a lot of work (and a bit or luck sometimes to stumble upon a form of words and theme that fits the structure) There are so few words to deal with that to get a strong emotion across in this concentrated form is quite a task and means that every sylable has to count and say something and be harmonious with its neighbours. It is this very challenge that attracts me to haikus.

Winston

I feel you've laid a challenge down Winston. As a Haiku cynic I will have to attempt it now. And probably prove myself right :-)

Dave, it was only a matter of time i guess till a H***u was posted here, and I might as well be first!

For John

The haiku cynic
Shovels food onto the flames
Scrambling his brains

Win

What in the Haiku?!
Can you not see it clearly?
Can be so much fun!

Moi ; )

I sent this to Dave yesterday, but he thought it was terrible.
Who started this?

Warm applause rings out.
Many high-wire walkers wait
Patiently in line.

Answers on a postcard
Is this a high queue Haiku?

I apologise
Steve M.

I have to admit that very many Haikus do leave me cold. In fact I can think of more that I didn't rate, than ones that I did. E Dowd (the bloke with the big ear phone) is normally good at them. For them to succeed, there has to be a really clever twist.
Sorry Winston - I didn't like your last one - did like the taxi one though - but was that because I misunderstood it totally? Unless they are really deep (not easy to do in so few lines), they tend to leave me feeling 'humph'.
Scratch what I said about E Dowd - he does short, deep poems - not necessarily Haiku.

An apple falls up
Accelerating away
Defying Newton

“Buy me an ice cream!”
Ordered the pumpkin faced child
Sly seagull watches

The fat man wobbles
A vibration from within
An escape attempt?

“You are an orchid.”
He said, confusing his words
And meaning cactus

Archaeologists
Can they ever contemplate
Their fossil future?

"No future in milk"
Say the disgruntled farmers
Such an udder waste

“We are not amused.”
He knew she never would be
She never could be

Belt and braces man
Prepared for every setback
But diarrhoea

And it seems I have opened up the floodgates!

Win x

Hi Isobel - I also like many of E Dowd's short poems/haiku. Taxi Haiku, as I said it doesn't matter if your interpretation is different to the authors.Thats an advantage of poetry. You didn't missunderstand - you interpreted.

as to my last one on here, It was not meant to be a proper attempt. Just a throw away thing.

Win

Thanks to everyone but especially you Anthony. Reading yours, there were definitely moments of enjoyment. How about that.

Seriously, along with what others have been saying, they were real eye-openers as to what it takes to make a haiku work.

I'll get there

Winston - feeling a bit bad about my last comment now. I only used you as an example cos that Haiku was really well received by everyone on here and I knew you were strong enough to take it. I guess you have to get the humour in funny Haiku for it to ring your bell - I think I have a less subtle sense of humour than the majority. Haiku does seem to work very well for humour - did enjoy your several Haiku poems Anthony, particularly the last one (lavatorial humour is just up my street).

Great to see more Haiku style poems. I love 'em!

Although the general idea is for them to be deeply profound, they are as someone else already said, a great way to get the poetic flow going again in a dry spell. I'm with Francine on this one.
So much fun can not be ignored, profound or what? or not as the case may be :-)

Just for Izo

(lavatorial humour is just up my street).

Upon the crapper

Ponders poetically

Rejects his best work

Gusxx

Well Gus - that's another shit poem you've written - hope it wasn't too much of a strain on your brain...

You are so dirty - and yes I loved it yet again. xx

I like the traditional japanese haiku with the extreme rules however modern haiku,s tend to miss the original point.

My first haiku. Written on Bidston Hill this afternoon.

Poet sits on hill,
in sun, waiting for poem
much too contented


Well, we've all got to start somewhere

Sorry Dave - you'll have to try harder - that is a bit tame. I've tried to rework it for you imagining how Gus or Anthony would have edited.

Poet shits on hill
in sun, waiting for poem
but over relaxed

Very funny, Isobel, and, of course, a great improvement.

It's tempting to retaliate. Poetic and physical constipation have similar features. Words rhymes with turds. Others may like the challenge, but that's enough for me. Thank you all.

I was just joking Dave. There was nothing wrong at all with your Haiku. It was thoughtful. I was just being mischevious - but that always seems to get me into trouble - when will I learn to stop?

Never! ; )

No Izo, I'm far more delicate...

Poet shits uphill
glares into the sun’s bright light
feeling warm on back

Should I quote Laurel and Hardy or would that be showing my age?
'Well that's another fine mess you got us into!'
Perhaps we should rename this discussion thread 'How to write and post shit Haiku'. I'm sure we could run with this forever Gus but I'm going to duck out now - wouldn't like my talent to be pigion holed or stereo typed....

Tee hee - I thought you were launching a personal attack for one moment. I now see that they are all individual Haikus - very clever Chris.